Thanks everyone for your support!
I think you're right in your assessment, JK. I am ready to confront the underlying issues that are presenting themselves now as hiccups in my ability to maintain my sanity on a daily basis. I didn't really ever consider how much my childhood and influences from my upbringing affected my self-perceptions, expectiations, relationships, etc because my childhood was wonderful and my parents amazing people. But, it goes to show that when you diverge from the person your parents want you to be, it takes a lot of growing pains for some of us to see that distinction. (I am totally talking about myself, yes.)
I have very perfectionist, successful, anal-retentive parents who had such high expectations and great plans for me that my wants and other components of my personality were either thrown to the wayside or greeted with a "that's a nice hobby, but you don't want to do that forever." Plus, their interference with every relationship I've had with a man is unnerving. I lost someone I loved dearly and was considering marrying because of their view of him as not being good enough for me. I am in a wonderful relationship now and happy and I can see the red flags cropping up already. I'm scared to lose this amazing man like I lost the last one.
Okay, sorry for the verbal dirrhhea...but it feels good to confront things openly.
Aries- I am finding more balance in my life, thank you :) I went camping last weekend and reconnected to myself and the earth. It restored my faith in this life and permitted me to regain perspective. Also saw Coldplay last week (one of my fave bands) which also reminded me of the beautiful things in life. I find so much solace and inspiration in music...especially the cerebral sort.
27 year old female
Dx: IBS-D - 2004
GAD - 2008
Meds: 30 mg Celexa, .5- 1mg Klonopin