Hi all! I'm new to this forum and at my wits end! I've had a 15 year history of anxiety. There have been times where it has been managed. Of course during those times I feel that I can get off the meds and ween off them. Usually within a year or two something triggers the panic and the attacks start all over again. That's been the case this past month. It's been awful!! I can't sleep, I am terrified of being home alone but I'm also afraid to go out and do things for fear of the attacks. I'm becoming depressed because of it. I just want to cry.
I was out of the country when the attacks began. Talk about terrifying! The doctor gave my Alprax, a generic form of Xanax which helped me through the week and the flight home. Saw my PCP and told him the anxiety is back and that the Xanax seemed to be working so he prescribed .5 mg every 8 hours. Well I don't know if it was just my heightened state of anxiety or what but the Xanax seemed to either not work or have the opposite effect. My attacks seemed to get worse as the week went on. (This was just last week).
Then it gets even worse! Thursday night I had major attacks and didn't sleep at all. I'm embarrassed by the anxiety and don't want to bother my husband, especially while he's sleeping. So the computer has been my savior! That night it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. My left shoulder hurt, back and neck hurt, I was nauseous and shakey. This scared me so bad. It felt ten times worse than any attack I've ever had. Friday morning it got even worse so hubby took me to the ER. With my symptoms they did the works! EKG, chest xray, urine test, blook work testing my heart, liver, and kidneys. They also did a blood test for blood clots. Everything came back normal, thank God!!! They chalked it up to the Chinese buffet (I know) from the night before and said it was esophagitis or GERD. Gave me a script for Protonix and sent me home. Now, I should be relieved that all of those test were normal, right? Wrong! I am going into the hypochondria phase now and worrying it's neurological. I've had pain in my left temple that has gotten worse over the weekend. It's probably stress from the anxiety and not sleeping, and my sinuses do feel a little congested. I know this, but I cannot accept this. I can't rationalize with myself which drives me even more crazy.
I haven't taken the Xanax since my Thursday night attacks. It didn't seem to help whatsoever. I left a voicemail for my PCP to switch and go back on the Effexor which seemed to help me in the past. I started counseling and am optimistic that she will help me learn techniques to get through this. I'm terrified that this will never end. I don't want to be on meds forever. Especially if we have children. Most meds aren't good during pregnancy. BUt the anxiety also makes me question whether or not I could even handle pregnancy and caring for an infant if I can't control my own anxiety. I'm a teacher and school starts in a month. If I don't get this under control, how am I going to function at work? I can't afford to call in sick. I am so frustrated and just plain TIRED OF THE FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!