I am new to this forum but not the site. I have been suffering from anxiety and panic since about my pre-teen years. I remember the first time when I had an episode I didn't know what the heck was happening to me, it happened a couple more times around that age but got worse when I went off to college. I remember being in my dorm room freshman year doing chemistry homework and all of a sudden I couldn't breath, my heart was racing and I thought I was about to pass out, I called for an ambulance and was rushed to the hospital where they gave me valium. I was then diagnosed with having anxiety attacks and panic disorder. I have been on Lexapro, Wellbutrin and Xanax in the past. I was also diagnosed with GERD, and was given Nexium, which seems to go hand in hand with Anxiety. I am currently not on any meds but seriously think I need to be. I haven't had many extreme panic attacks but I feel depressed and trapped inside of my wandering and worrying mind. I truly feel that most of my anxiety is health anxiety because I constantly think I have everything that I hear about or read about. Right now I feel like I have a million STDs, HIV, and other infections. I've only had sex 3 times in my life and all within this year. I posted on the HIV forums as well and they told me I have nothing to worry about, that my possible risk was low. I am going to see a health provider soon, but it's rough because I am without insurance right now (darn recession). I have always been a healthy person but my anxiety always makes me think the worst. I was a total maniac when the whole swine flu pandemic hit. I work as a pre-school teacher and I wouldn't go near my kids that were coughing or looked sick, it was ridiculous. My dad was even sick around that time, I had given him a hug and within a day I thought he was going to die from the swine flu, then my mother because she was in the same house and then me because I hugged him. As you can see I clearly have maaaaad issues!
Please give me some advice and guidance. I truly thank you guys for being here because I find comfort in communicating about my disorders, and desperately long to control them.