Good Morning KK
First of all I want to wish you a day full of sunshine and peace.
It does sound like your husband has anticipatory anxiety which was one of my biggest problems. I am a worry wart. I have managed to work through therapy and I am now able to stay out of the What If's most of the time.
I am a great believer in staying in the moment which I learned in therapy. Making ourself miserable is how we tend to spend a lot of time in the past or the future. We spend much time thinking about what was and what could have been. And we spend much time projecting into the future and wondering about what may happen.
This way of thinking is indeed a great way to make much of your life a lot more miserable and limited than necessary. The key to solving this problem is of course to live as much as you can in the only moment that you ever really live in and control. This moment right now. The moment that is all there ever was and - probably - will be.
But how can you step away from the thought loops that whirl back and forth through our memories and fantasies?
How do you actually return to the present moment?
Focus on what’s right in front of you,
push all other thoughts out of your mind.
My Pdoc told me I have a tendency toward catastrophysizing events whether they are in the past or the present so I had to learn to talk myself out of the stinking thinking and stay in the moment.
I understand your feelings about leaving your husband but I also know that being a stay at home Mom is important to you. Do you have any family, friends or clergy that you are comfortable talking with?
We are always here for you so please do keep on talking with us as we truly care about you.