Panic issues for my son/Relationship with girlfriend

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/20/2009 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
My son is 19, he and his girlfriend have a 1 year old. He has had anxiety issues for many years. They are going through a rough time and I really don't expect her to be around much longer. He works third shift and she typically levies her "I'm leaving" conversations just before or just after he goes to work. He's there all night alone and each time she does this he goes to pieces. I've spent the past two nights on the telephone with him trying to calm him down. It will happen again tonight. I feel like I've run out of things to say and I'm at a loss as to how to help him. I can't make him understand that she may leave and we can't stop her. He thinks I somehow can. He spends his nights trying to "fix" the problem. I feel like I'm letting him down and I feel so badly for him as I went through the same thing with his mother. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I can't get either of them to cooperate. I've tried to get them to call a truce on work nights, but they continue this same behavior. I'm lost.

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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/20/2009 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear NCGrad,

Sorry, but your son  needs to figure  out for himself how he wants to deal with this situation.  You cannot fix either your son or his girlfriend.  He owns this problem.  As his Mother you can  be available to support his decision.



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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 9/20/2009 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow , what a rough time for your son.

He needs to decide if this is how he wants to live his life. Does he want to deal with this continued emotional abuse? Or does he know he can go on and be better off without this?
My ex used to do the same thing to me. Keep me on edge. He felt in control this way. Keeping me upset and uptight and willing to do anything to fix the relationship. I grew tired of it. I hated spending nights wondering, worrying and crying.
I finally had had enough. And moved on.
My life, feelings, love, was worth a lot more then what he truly wanted. He wanted someone who was at his beck and call. Every moment everyday.

But, it is up to your son. He will have to grow up handle the situation as it needs to be handled. He needs to step up to her. And stop playing the emotional roller coaster she is keeping him on.

Just reinforce the fact that he will 1. Have custody of the son, or 2. Have full visitation.
1. He needs to keep notes of this emotional abuse.
2. Document EVERYTHING.
3. Be ready for a hard road.
4. Get a lawyer.

Emotional abuse is hard to prove so the more he keeps track of what is going on the better things will be in the end with his child.

Again it is up to him. He will have to decide when he has had enough. And not until then can you truly help him. This is not healthy for him or his child.

Take Care

Ann Oliver
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/22/2009 1:40 AM (GMT -7)   
If the anxiety can not be controlled, it is better to take the recommended medication. But it should only be taken if the condition is uncontrollable.
Cure Anxiety & Panic attacks PermanentlyIn a Natural, Safe, Effective, and Proven way! It’s Easier And Faster Than You Think. Visit my Profile for more details

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