will i be better in the future?

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lovers spit
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 11/21/2009 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
so i'm 17 years of age and i was just recently diagnosed with major depression & anxiety (i already knew i had the anxiety) when i checked myself in to a nearby mental health hospital.  i had no idea i had the depression.  i mean i knew i was pushing my family away.. even farther than they already are.. since i'm not very close with either my sister or my mother but i didnt know i was full blown depressed until it got really bad.  i was trying to fall asleep one night and i couldn't stop crying for the life of me. i got out of bed and felt extremely afraid and i was sweaty and i had racing thoughts, i thought i was dying, i thought my family hated me, i thought my friends hated me because i stopped doing things with them (which now i look back and i'm like oh, depression!), i thought i was going to go insane, i thought my mom was going to die.. yada yada yada.. but anyways.. i could not sleep so i ran into my sisters room (i live with her) and she told me to get out of her room which obviously made me by like oh my gosh i am crazy.. and then i told her i needed to go somewhere because i couldn't live like this anymore and that's how i ended up in the hospital.. now i'm afraid it will happen again and then my sister will kick me out or something because it's getting so expensive i don't know how i'll be able to afford it when i grow up! there were also two instances where my anxiety was unbelieveable.. both times i was really high (weed) but each were out of body experiences. the first one we went to a bonfire where there were around 20 people, all of which i was friends with at the time, only a few i'm still friends with now.. but anyway.. and i literally thought they were all going to kill me. even one of them looked afraid and she asked me what was wrong and to come by her and i didn't because i thought she would kill me if i went by her. my friends told me i got up and i tried to leave the bonfire but i was wasnt walking straight and i just kept saying i needed to leave. once my friend and i and our other friend got in the car, we left the bonfire and they were taking me home. i was so afraid that i was going to die/my sister would kill me that i told my friends i couldn't go home and they needed to take me to the hospital. okay this is really long. but there was just one other time where i smoked and it was literally euphoric.. i felt like the world was perfect but then as soon as we were about to go to my school to this art thing at night where i took classes.. it all turn bad and i thought my teacher was going to kill me this time.
sorry for the novel.. i'm just worried about my future.
oh, and i'm adopted and my biological parents both had bipolar.. so i'm wondering if i may be developing it
thanks for listening to whoever reads this..

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/22/2009 11:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, my name is Paige and I'm 18 years old.  I have an extrememly similar story to yours! There are some things in your post, that we aren't supposed to talk about in the forum.  It will probably get edited by a moderator sometime soon.  But I would really love it if you emailed me and I can talk to you about it via email.  I'm sorry if you email me today and I don't get back until tonight, because my sundays are busy.    You can also find it if you click on my SN here, because it'll lead you to my information that I allow to be posted on here.  Or you can search under memebers to find it as well.  You are NOT going crazy, and you will start to get better.  Also, the outer body experience, search depersonalization and derealization.  You'll be surprised, I promise.  Please send me an email and we can discuss some things there :)  I promise, you are going to be okay, even though it is EXTREMEMLY difficult to believe.  I never ever thought that I was going to get any better.
Much love and God Bless
Edit:  Hey Paige, I took out your email addy.  This is to protect your security and identity. It is in your profile so only members can see it and it won't be picked up by search engines from there.
Good post. Hugs to you,

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 11/22/2009 11:36:55 AM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 11/22/2009 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Uh oh, someone posted their email address on a public forum.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/22/2009 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
I wonder if this could be pretty easily be explained by drug induced psychosis.

Are you going to any kind of therapy?

Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 11/22/2009 11:39:24 AM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/22/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay, thanks Kitt :)

I didn't know if I was allowed and I didn't mean to do anything wrong :)

Much love
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