Thank you both for your comfort and understanding. Your posts made me cry. Ian, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom. This is unbelievably hard. I understand too how you are feeling. I am just at such a loss for how to deal with this. This diagnosis was a complete shock to us and especially to her.
We had a bit of a disagreement last night on the phone and even the last couple of weeks she has been tense with me on the phone. That is making things harder. I can't imagine how terrified she is feeling. We have been close our my entire life; it's just always been a case that sometimes there are just high expectations from her upon me and my sister...I am 29 and sister is 27 and when we do things in our lives that our Mom would do differently, Mom can get upset. My sister experienced this with her last night too and called me, so we talked to each other about it. I am sure Mom is feeling this way more than ever now; wanting us to live our lives a certain way b/c that is what she wants for us and she doesn't want her opinion to go unsaid?
I have to say sister and I are very successful in our lives; I work for 3 psychiatrists in a hospital my spouse a manager for a huge company; sister and her spouse have good full time jobs and two kids with one on the way. It's just the little things my Mom seems to disagree with.
Anyway, I just don't want time that we have with her to be stressful. And that's what I feeling now with this tension between us, on top of the diagnosis.
Yes the anxiety will always be with us, but WOW I can't believe how sick I am with it everyday. I am having nasuea every day.
My new plan is to start my yoga back up at home and to make sure I walk at least three nights a week. And I am going to try breathing through my attacks and drinking water.....
Sending hugs to both of you. Take special care and I will keep posting here.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 12 mg/day, Mirapex working up to 2.25 mg/day, Lamictal 400mg/day