Hi, everyone - my name is Savannah and I'm 25 years old. I've been diagnosed recently with an anxiety disorder. For years I've battle social anxiety issues but never did anything about it until recently. A month ago I went to a psychiatrist who started me out on Lexapro. Also, I've been going to a counselor for the past 2 months. My anxiety got completely out of control, and I knew I had to do something, after having some minor health issues - I convinced myself something was seriously wrong and that I was dying. For a couple months I was having an extremely difficult time sleeping, was very irritable, and had trouble focusing. Those have calmed down quite a bit now that I've accepted that I don't have some incurable illness, just acid reflux and some sinus issues. After going through the medical issues, I started thinking about how truly unhappy I am with my life. I wish I knew how or what to do to change things, but it feels totally out of my control.
What I don't understand is, what exactly is anxiety? I mean, I know the dictionary definition but what I want to know is what you all experience and how it impacts your life. For instance, I have so much difficultly making even small decisions. My counselor said this is due to anxiety - that it won't let me trust myself. Could that really be the case, or is that just me? I have such extreme fears of people judging me and I never feel good enough. Dating is impossible for me. I don't even like myself so how could I ever expect anyone to want to be with me? I question every thought and feeling to the point where I'm not sure of either. Sometimes I really feel nervous just going out in public, to say the store, by myself. Even though I know it's ridiculous, I can't help but feel that people can look at me and tell I'm nervous. That makes me paranoid that I look weird or suspicious and that everyone will think I'm up to something, like shoplifting. I sound completely crazy, I know. When I have a couple good days, something always happens to set me back. Maybe it's because I really don't know how to deal with issues properly.
Anyway, I look forward to hearing from everyone. Hope you all have a good day!