Letting things out

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 8/12/2010 4:57 AM (GMT -7)   
this rollercoaster of anxiety has surely been interesting, ive learned many things.. this journey of recovery is a process and many times we make the same mistakes in our search for freedom, we can fail ourselves at times i think, i came across an incident in which i was dissapinted at the thought that i had failed myself.. why was i stupid to make another mistake, why am i not learning fast enough. i hated myself, i felt  frustrated, angry unable to forgive myself.. these were strong emotions and i couldnt see how to get out of it.. it overwhelmed me.. but i realised alot of things.. and iam past this episode however although i found solutions on my own.. i felt like i had been through so much past few weeks and i really needed to let out these things i was feeling during this time, but i didnt have anyone who cared to listen.. the only person who i have talked to most about things.. either cut me off if i started to share what i was feeling or give me one word responses and so i gave up.. this person rambles like theres no tommorow and she makes sure she gets out everything she is feeling, i dont think this is fair at all.. and today it all got abit too much.. just felt sick of having bottled things up and it took its toll today, i have a right to express myself which ultimatly will lead me to the life i know i want, dream and deserve.. its not impossible.. knowing what u need is one thing.. but getting it is another challenge.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/12/2010 5:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes the person we think is a good support person is not and we have to move on.  Here are a few ways you may try to support yourself emotionally.
Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support. The person you are counting on now does not appear to be able to fill this need for you.
Keep a personal journal to write about your feelings, especially when you are feeling low or vulnerable.
Take time to prepare yourself emotionally before entering stressful situations.
Write something positive about yourself everyday - your own personal affirmations.  Keep telling yourself you are a good person. Remember that you are the most important person to take care of right now.
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2470
   Posted 8/12/2010 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
I have a co worker like the person you speak of. I wish I could get her out of my life but I'd have to leave my job to do that.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 8/12/2010 11:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys, i love ur affirmation skitt about if you cant change the world change your world.. i think thats something i got to keep practising more. well this friend.. i didnt realise until last night how much she talks and talks it was unbelievable, i hadnt noticed b4 because i hadnt been maybe as desperate to talk about things i needed to and then i observed her, gosh she doesnt even take a breath.. geez she definatly wont be posting anything about not getting things out i can tell u that LOL. wish i had that courage though to not care like she does, i wonder if she realises or if she is selfish, she says things like she loves me and shes here for me but maybe she just isnt a good listener?
I have problems meeting new ppl at present because i feel its hard to open up about things i sometimes go through and at the same time i find it hard to not express what i go through, i think it must be fear of shame or i think its because i think ppl will not accept me or i feel less than because i sometimes have issues, and i love helpiing ppl but i feel like im being annoying if i need to talk about something i dunno.. i dont know how to boost my esteem on this, dont know where to start to get out there really, never had good friends.. parents dont talk and are dysfuctional and ive been a single mum for 4 years.. im sure things will come good somehow. just need to find a way out of this rut.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 8/13/2010 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I can totally appreciate the fact that anxiety is a learning experience. I have learned a lot about my life, myself, and how things have changed in my life over the years since exploring my anxiety.

Like yourself oldsoul, I am usually the patient listener. I'm always there for the other person, but haven't usually allowed myself that same opportunity to share what's on MY mind. Everyone says I'm a great listener and tells me that they appreciate my feedback. But when I need to share I feel guilty about burdening others with MY issues. Deep inside I think I'm afraid that I'll scare them off. I think that if I blab on long enough they'll become sick of me and leave. The people in my life are so important to me and I'm afraid of losing them, so I give them my all expecting nothing in return and sacrificing my health in the process.

Through counseling I'm realizing that these one-sided relationships are not healthy and that I need to take care of myself better. If these other people truly care about us then they'll be willing to listen. It might be weird at first feeling like we're "overtalking" but even if the talking/listening ratio isn't 50/50, moving closer to 50/50 is a step in the right direction.

I have someone in my family that is a non-stop talker. He will easily talk for an hour without my getting in a single word. I can't get in a word even if I try. But he gets the stuff out of his system and feels better right away. He yells at the TV, talks to himself, gets angry and gets stuff out. Ten minutes later he's happy and whistling. On the other hand I hold stuff in for years and then it "comes out" as anxiety and panic attacks.

As Kitt suggested I do keep a journal which helps. I've also had to make a concerted effort to share more with others than I would normally. Between the journal, forcing myself to share little pieces more here and there, and a counselor I'm starting to get things out. I've even been known to scream in the car (by myself) if I need to get stuff out and don't want to yell where others will hear me. :) Good luck!!
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