I am sorry to hear you are having this rough time. I know you are not alone in this position as numerous studies have shown that money is the number one reason why couples argue.
I had to learn to set boundaries with my children and my husband as I worked fulltime and my husband worked swing shifts so my children liked to try to call me at work with their last minutes panics. I firmly set down a rule that I could not receive phone calls at work unless it was urgent and last minute issues that could have been taken care of a week before while I was at home did not count as urgent. Of course my children would try but I had to tell them I cannot talk right now and would say good bye. Of course they got angry at me and we would have battles at home but when they would tell me they hated me I would simply respond with " I am sorry to hear you say that but I still love you"
When it comes to money issues try getting out a pen and paper and writing down what was decided in your conversations with your son and your husband. They are both adults and if it is in writing then there is no one to blame when they do not follow through on their responsibilities. You are not a fault for their behavior. If your son has loans that you have co-signed for then perhaps he could pay you a monthly amount for you to set aside to make this loan payment when it comes do.
I would like to suggest that you try to sit down with your husband and son and discuss what happened and brainstorm ways to prevent this from repeating again in the future. Blaming each other for money problems will just spill over into arguments in other parts of your life, too.
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
"If you can't change the world, change your world"