Wondering, how do you cope?

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/2/2010 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I was just lying around pondering my ongoing anxiety and was wondering how people cope with it. Not even sure what to say. Just tired of keepin it in my head. I mean it gets to a point where life isn't fun at all anymore. Crowds make me nervous. People in general make me nervous. Any given situation I'm in I have to know there's a way out. Gettin to the point where I don't even want to leave the house. And it's even worse if I drink. So stricken with anxiety when hungover that I can't be around anybody. Feel like I'm scared for 2 days afterwards. Takes like 3 days till I feel normal again. Probably doesn't help being single either. Who wants to date someone that's freakin out all the time and freaks out about just going out doing things? lol. I don't know. Maybe just hoping to hear that it's possible to live with it and be happy too.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 9/3/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
SilentBob, sorry to hear things are really tough at the moment for you. And a warm welcome to the site as well.

I have many 'issues', that I try to cope with, sometimes, I really wonder how much one person should have to cope with, these days are extremely dark, and the moment I realize that I am slipping into one of these spells, I really fight it, and try to get back to a better place. Sometimes, I realize too late, and then there is little I can do except wait for the passage of time.

Mainly I cope by being firm with myself, making myself do things when I really don't want to, I remind myself of what I have overcome thus far, (It is easy for us to forget when we are going through a hard time), I remind myself, that I am strong, I can do this, and I keep every step very simple.

If I am unable to do anything about it, I allow myself to have a day in bed, and that's fine, it is a choice, but, I make sure it is one day, not a week, and this is when I really do get firm with myself.

I hope things really pick up for you soon, and I hope you can see some of the good things you have been able to achieve so far, that you maybe forgetting at the moment.

Take care of you, you are important, you do matter and you are worth it

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 26967
   Posted 9/3/2010 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Well put Awty. Hi SilentBob and welcome! For me coping was getting into treatment and being patient. I thought that therapy wasn't working at first, and wanted to quit. In fact I "finished" or so I thought at one point, and ended up going back. It is different for everyone, but I think many people make the mistake of trying one thing, not getting the results they want and giving up. I bielieve like with any chronic illness you have to take a pro-active approach with your health. No one else can do it for you. Read up and get educated, push your doctors if needed. Find what it is that will give you relief and go after it with everything you have. My journey has been a long and difficult battle, and while I can't say that it is over, I have found ways to enjoy life again along the way:)
Take care,
Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/3/2010 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello SilentBob,
Welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry to hear you are stuck in the anxiety mode but know you have come to a great forum to find support.
It's interesting, of all the symptoms of a hangover, anxiety falls way below "headache" and "nausea" in people's minds, but is nearly as common.
When we are hungover, our nervous system is in a complete flux, thoughts go barreling through our heads and it is hard to hold onto a thought long enough to rationalise with it.
One thing that works for my anxiety when I am "worrying" about it is to get up and do something.  Getting my mind off how anxious I feel and doing something relaxing or something I have to concentrate on helps reduce the anxiety. 
If your anxiety is keeping you from doing your daily activities please do seek out the help of your physician.
Again a warm welcome.
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 9/3/2010 1:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I can tell you one thing, no matter how bad you feel you won't die. I've gone through extreme anxiety and have had panic disorder for 26 years (even being housebound for 3 years) and I'm still here. When having a panic attack I thought I would pass out (never did),  go crazy (never have, although my family may disagree smilewinkgrin ), have a heart attack (never have), etc., etc.  Anxiety is a cycle of your body giving you some weird and sometimes terrifying feelings, and then your mind takes off with the worst thoughts imaginable to fuel it even more. You get into a cycle of weird feelings, exaggerated thoughts, panic, and then feeling a little bettter. I've been helped with medication and trying to ride through the feelings without blowing it out of proportion with nonsense thoughts. If you can get to the point of just letting anxiety do the worst it can without giving in to retreat or doom and gloom thoughts about what's happening, it does become less debilitating.
I have been on medication for many years because my panic attacks were happening even when I wasn't out, or in a provoking sitiuation. I would just be sitting watching tv and my heart would start to race. In my view, anxiety is a mixture of genetics/chemical imbalances (where medicine helps), conditioning yourself to think the worst (cognitive therapy is helpful for this), and avoidance of anxiety provoking places (exposure therapy helps with this).
Just hang in there and keep fighting, it will get better. You can be happy when you realize that no matter how bad you may occasionally feel, it won't kill you and can even make you stronger.
Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety problems??? That is the first step I would take. Let them rule out any physical problems that may cause anxiety. Next, I would see a good psychiatrist and/or behavioral therapist. They can decide if you need medication, cognitive/exposure therapy, or maybe both. I find that medication and therapy worked best for me.
I hope you get the help you need and wish you the very best. I know this is a tough problem, but you'd be surprised at how tough you can be to fight it.
God bless.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 9/4/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Looks like you've gotten some good advice and ideas. The theme (which I'd agree with) is that you need to do something. Whether you look into therapy, medication (western or holistic), educate yourself even just through online stuff, or ideally all three, it's important to do something. Anxiety won't go away on its own. Unfortunately you can't just ride it out and wake up one morning all better like with a cold.

The only thing I would add is "don't beat yourself up". Don't get down on yourself for being single or for not feeling comfortable leaving the house. At one point, I used to lie on the floor for 4 days straight before I could even just get up and do something like going online to check email or make a phone call. After that day I'd be back on the floor for 3 more.

My attitude since then has been to know yourself and your limitations and take it one step at a time. For instance, I used to not want to leave the house. Still on many days I don't. But I started by sitting outside on the front steps for 2 minutes one day. The next day I did 5 minutes. Day three I walked to the end of the driveway and back. That's it! The rest of the day I'd stay inside. If I had a bad day I wouldn't go out at all. But slowly and gradually as I felt more comfortable I would walk just a little further each time I went out. From the end of the driveway I went to the end of the block. Then two blocks. Today I'm up to 3 miles. But it didn't happen overnight. I find it really important to give yourself credit for what you ARE able to do and not harp on what you can't. You will in time, but for now acknowledge what you CAN do no matter how small.
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