It sounds like you've already gotten some really good feedback Sherry. Writing certainly does help and it can lead to talking in time. It's a step in the right direction of getting those toxic memories out of your system where you can discharge any power they have over you and your future. As was already said you might find it easier to tell your story each time, so writing it down here was a great first step. Maybe you can write it again elsewhere like in a journal and then in a letter to your therapist even if you don't give it to her.
When you are in your session you could read the letter to her, or you could make yourself a bullet point list to help you remember what points you wanted to raise so that you're not reading verbatim. Also remember that you don't have to get it all out in one session. You mentioned that it comes to you in drips and drabs - which tends to be the case with traumatic memories. They become repressed for a reason. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself as much time as you need. If you make a list of 5 points and only discuss one - great! Give yourself credit for having started the process and bringing it up in the first place. If you go to your next session and end up
something else that's OK too, because in your mind you may have been building yourself up to the point where you're ready to share about
the abuse (you might be driving in thinking, "do I want to talk about
it today or should I talk about
something else instead?"). Just that internal discussion will bring you one step closer to actually sharing. I'm also sure that as you and your therapist get into it and talk about
more details will come to you, even if only during the week that you want to later go back to.
Finally, you might want to start by saying to your therapist that there's something you'd like to talk about
but you're not quite sure if you're ready to actually say the words. This would be another great opportunity because you said yourself that one of the things you're working on is expressing your emotions. So you can explore your fears, concerns, possible embarrassment or whatever else may be initially holding you back from sharing the details (all without sharing the actual details).
We support you and hope that you give yourself the credit for your bravery in sharing what you did already with us here. I wish you the best.
Post Edited (Fugs) : 10/8/2010 10:34:10 AM (GMT-6)