I used Cymbalta for a couple of years and it helped me but then I decided that I want to go medication free so weaned off of it. After several months my depression came back major and I am now on a different AD.
I experienced the loss of my 3 siblings within a seventeen month time frame and I was devestated. As our son was killed in a car crash I also have some PTSD and whenever I experience another loss everything comes flooding over me. I know where you are coming from with your grieve issues.
I would give the Cymbalta a chance. As my Psychiatrist keeps reminding me, the medication will not take away all the anxiety/depression but it will help you to have better days along with therapy.
You have my deepest sympathy at the loss of your wife. My birth mother died in a car accident when I was 18 months old and my Dad was the one person in the world who loved me unconditionally, he was my hero so know your children are so fortunate to have you to love them.