I am so torn up and beat down right now!! My situation is so bad and so messed up right now!! I used to go to this mental health place in NC where I used to live. Now since the tragic all to early passing of my best friend and loved one, my father in law to be, my mentor, my at home therapist for all intensive purposes, I have struggled so much!! I moved here in SC to live with him months ago before we even knew he was sick! We would talk for hours and sometimes all night! Nobody ever understood me so much!! I loved him so much!! He just started blacking out suddenly one day. Then we were told he had 3 months or less to live. I was devistated TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!! He lived only 2 weeks longer with me spending the majoity of my time by his side. All he had was me and his son and our son. No wife. No family that cared besides us. I'd spend the night in the hospital then hospice just watching his favorite movies (I dont think I'll ever be able to watch "As good as it gets again!), and talking
to him. I told him one day when the sun was shining in, that he has these incredible blue eyes that looked like the summer sky around 5pm. I swore that I would always think of him on days like that! I always will! I miss him so much!!!!!!! A chunk of me is gone!!!
Well since moving here and his passing I have been trying to switch mental health facilities (Its very much a need for me especially right now!). I went to the one here and they said they needed 2 things from me. A drug screen and my medical records from the other place. So drug screen came back clean as I knew it would. But the medical records from where I was going in NC have yet to come in and this has been in September when they were first asked about
. I signed the release and they STILL havent sent my records!!!! I called today and they told me they had my paperwork but it will be another 2 weeks before they can send it! Then the place here in SC says I can see a therapist once the records come in but not a doctor for few months!!!! They are short 3 doctors so I'm supposed to be patient.
I called the place I was going in NC and asked if my doc from there could write me anothe perscript
ion and call it in for me down here. She did and thats where my boyfriend is now, picking it up. Problem is, we have $80 to live off of right now bc my boyfriend has not been able to find work and he searches from 8am to 5pm everyday! Temp agency's and everywhere! Online searches too! He found someone that may can help him with a job when he was in AA lastnight. So maybe that will turn out good! Please pray for us on that!!!! But here is the kicker on my meds being picked up today, Medicade here said they cant pick me up until I have proof that where I was in NC has shut me off. So I'm working on that now. When it does come in, I will still have to wait months to see a doc about
meds!!! Maybe I will temporarily try a regular md. I need one of those anyway. They usually dont like to give klonopin
to patients tho.
Ok so I'm waiting for a response from medicade in NC to tell me how I can get proof from them to they shut me off. Then waiting for the medicade to come in here. Thats like a month of waiting. Then waiting months to be seen by the doctor at the mental health place! I'll be out of my meds!!!!! Paying full price for them now!!!! Very expencive and I can only get so many bc like I said, we only have $80 until Dec 20th!
No Christmas tree until then! No presents until then! Cutting it too close for me! We have a 3 year old that is so excited about
the tree and everything!
I'm a total wreak!!!!!! I'm getting jerked around everywhere! All these medical places giving me wrong numbers all the time, not returning my calls either. Sometimes they say they are putting me on hold and either leave
me there and I hang up after an hour, or they just hang up on me!!!
I have mental disorders that I cant just ignore!!!! I dont know what to do while I have to wait on all this!!!!
On top of all that, my panic attacks are daily now! I was trying to take only 1mg of klonopin
a day to save them now I need 2 mgs a day (prescribed dose, I'm not self medicating). I feel so overwhelmed and out of control with my anxiety and panic!!!!!
My best friend has stopped talking
to me bc she is too busy for me now and I know alot of that has to do with me not drinking anymore. I'm not "fun" anymore. Oh well because I am NOT going back to that life now!!!!
I'm sorry all! I just need some friends right now!!!! Sorry this was so long!!!!!!