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Posted 11/20/2010 4:57 AM (GMT -7)

So, I am stressed and very anxious right now. yesterday I got called in to my managers office and disciplined for talkng to much. he said I had to stop talking and do my job. I have been fired from every job I have had except one for this same thing. How do I just shut up and stop talking...I always talk to the people I think are truly my friends which obviously isn't the case Can I overcome this. he did not write me up, put me on probation or suspend me just gave me a warning ..Is this fixable?

Posted 11/20/2010 6:17 AM (GMT -7)
I had the same problem at my last job - My boss was constantly getting at me for being too chatty with customers. It just takes a lot of self-discipline. I know how messed up this sounds but what I ended up having to do is ... oh my God it's embarrassing! lol... I started to pretend in my mind that people were inanimate objects... So it would be like, "I don't have to talk to her, because she's a chair. Chairs don't talk and won't be mad if I'm short with them"

I know it sounds like pure insanity but give it a whirl maybe? It worked for me! lol You'll feel like a headcase doing it but hey, whatever works!
“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.”
Posted 11/20/2010 7:31 AM (GMT -7)
I find myself talking to much and as soon as I recognize it I stop talking and start listening.  On the job you often have to stop talking with a customer/other staff as there is work to be done.  Your employer hired you to work and expects you to be productive.  When dealing with customers you need to learn how to be pleasant yet keep moving along as the others waiting in line are not happy to stand there forever while you visit to long with one person. 

You've taken an important, absolutely critical first step: you've identified that you have a problem, and you wish to fix it. 

I am wondering if you have ever been evaluated for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ?  Here is a link to a site that may help you understand what ADHD is all about.

http://www.adhdsupport.com/adhd-in-adults.aspx?mid=M000074

Just a thought.  Take care and keep talking with us as we do care.

Kindly,

Kitt

~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"
Posted 11/20/2010 10:48 AM (GMT -7)
I wonder if talking too much goes hand in hand with anxiety? The more anxious I get the more I talk...I can actually hear myself "blabbing" and I can't seem to stop. Some people seem to enjoy my constant chatter but I know some people think I'm some kind of a nut. Normally I am fairly low key...I like to talk with people but I don't just run at the mouth the way I do when I'm having a lot of anxiety. I tell myself to calm it down and find I can't for more than a few minutes. When my anxiety level finally goes down I feel embarassed that I talked so much. Joni
Posted 11/20/2010 10:58 AM (GMT -7)
I really think you are correct the more nervous I get the more I run my mouth...gossip is a horrible mess! I wonder if this is correctable? I wonder if at work I can ever be know as not a gossip any longer and if so how long will it take? Can my boss forgive me and move past this if I shut my mouth?
Posted 11/20/2010 11:40 AM (GMT -7)
I know this is not the best answer but, most of the time I ask myself if I can afford to live without the job. this sobers me up some to control what otherwise comes naturally.

In today's world the minute you walk in to most work you are not a free thinking idividual but and employee who behaviour is entirely dictated but company policies. Don't ever think that you can change or be given exception to these policies.
Posted 11/20/2010 11:54 AM (GMT -7)
It really is a great answer...the question is NO I can not afford to be without a job...I need to shut up and do my job...listen...stopt talking...and do not fuel the fire!
Posted 11/20/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)
Just wonder how long it will be before this is forgotten about and let go?
Posted 11/20/2010 12:01 PM (GMT -7)
worried,

Hello again and yes your anxiety could be causing you to talk to much but I don't feel it would cause you to gossip.  I suspect most gossip is never intended. No one wants to be the victim of gossip and they don’t want to be a gossiper themselves. When caught gossiping they are embarrassed. So how do you stop?

Stop and think of times when you were the victim of wagging tongues. That experience is a great teacher. It reminds you of how you did not like it and will help you stop getting  caught up in gossip.  As upsetting as it can be, don't let gossip cause you to  waste time and energy on it when you need to be focusing on important issues concerning your life or completing a project...The best way to handle gossip is to avoid it as much as you can and then ignore the rest.

 

If talking to much has caused you to lose all but one job then I do feel you have to stop talking to much and meet the expectations of your job.  If you change your habit of talking to much I would like to believe that your boss will notice the change and commend you for a job well done. Just my 2 cents worth here. :-)

 

Kindly,

Kitt

~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"
Posted 11/20/2010 1:41 PM (GMT -7)
Exactly right....I do not mean to gossip...I am going to learn to avoid and ignore...don't want to be caught up in it! Also need to look at the type people who are telling me things and these things I NO LONGER WANT TO HEAR!
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