Well my shrink upped my Buspar from 45 to 60 mgs a day and she put me on Klonopin instead of ativan.
The klonopin seems to help a lot more than the ativan. I'm not sure about the lexapro if it's helping or not but time will tell I guess.
I just wish I had never gotten off lexapro in the first place a year ago. I was totally normal for years with the occasional panic attack (once every couple of weeks or so) and now I've receded so far back that it's hard to even go shopping or go to my mother-in-law's house to pick up my daughter.
I was on klonopin today though and managed to make it on the highway to mother-in-law's house without much anxiety so that was nice. I felt just relaxed and not freaking out like I normally do. It's a relief to feel some normalcy but in the back of my mind I wonder how tomorrow will be or the next day or the next day. It's just so up and down and I just want to be able to function and feel happy and enjoy life without extreme anxiety and panic.
Thank you for all your kind replies. They are extremely helpful. Sometimes I feel so alone in all this but you all feel like my family.