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Family member triggers anxiety

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Sunshine29
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2009
Posts : 224
Posted 1/2/2011 9:08 AM (GMT -7)
Happy New Year!
For years now Ive been dealing with a mentally ill father ( bi-polar, depression, personality disorder, etc..)
He has been verbally abusive my whole life (Im 39) and finally put an end to it a year and a half ago by cutting him off. But, he is relentless and emails and calls at least twice a week. He just threatened me last night to call me until i answer or he will then call my job. I feel hew is the root of all my anxiety issues. I am now feeling the anxiety and it pisses me off that he affects me this way. I do not want to drug myself to deal with him! Ive spoken to him on numerous occasions about our relationship and the problems he's causing in my life....but he doesnt hear a thing i say. Any advice out there in dealing with this type of personality?
Thanx,
Sunshine
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stkitt
Elite Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 32602
Posted 1/2/2011 9:22 AM (GMT -7)
Sunshine,

I would talk with a social worker re your Dad's behavior.  I know how hard it is to live with a verbally abusive parent and I am glad you are trying to take care of yourself. However the phone calls and threats to call you at work are not appropirate and I can see how this is hard to deal with.

Can you put his emails into spam so you don't have to read them which is causing your anxiety.  I would suspect his Therapist does not know of his behavior. 

I am sorry you are going through this and I wish I had a better answer for you. 

 

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Sunshine29
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2009
Posts : 224
Posted 1/2/2011 9:27 AM (GMT -7)
I do see a therapist, she has helped me come a long way. I left a message for her to call me. My parents have been divorced since Im a kid...and last night he called my mother and left a message asking where I am....just crazy..Sometimes I just wish I could go "poof" and he's not there. Thanks for listening.
Sunshine
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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 6927
Posted 1/2/2011 10:05 AM (GMT -7)
Well Sunshine, it depends do you feel you are in danger from this interaction? (i.e. stalking, other abusive behavior?)
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 44944
Posted 1/2/2011 11:00 AM (GMT -7)
You can also put a block on his calls. Then he will have to stop bothering you.
Try not to let it effect you to the point of stress. Mind over matter at this point. You can do this. The stress only makes you more anxious.

Block his calls and his emails. Don't answer the phone calls until you have them blocked, and don't read the emails. If you do, this will only upset you further.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
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SnowyLynne
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2004
Posts : 1539
Posted 1/2/2011 11:25 AM (GMT -7)
Call the police for advise too,can't hurt......
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phytonutria
New Member
Joined : Jan 2011
Posts : 3
Posted 1/4/2011 2:54 PM (GMT -7)
Honestly, although you shouldn't change your life entirely, you may find it helpful to rid yourself of things that reminds you of him. Change your email address if you can, have his phone number blocked, I would consider taking a fresh start, such as joining a new gym.

Is your anxiety solely causally cause by him, though? Could other factors be attributing to your anxiety? Correlation isn't causation.
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