I can relate to how you're feeling, because that's exactly how I feel most times. It's like I'm the one writing all that you've just written.
When I'm at work or school (I'm working AND studying btw), I feel so much better than when I'm at home. Being alone is the worst thing ever to me, because that's when all the negative thoughts and feelings start flooding in. Therefore, I feel, distraction from these thoughts and feelings are the key to getting yourself to feel better.
This is what I do when I'm at home or alone - I keep myself occupied. I make it a point to read to my son or supervise him doing his homework. I manage my own little online business. I look for interesting songs or videos on YouTube. I cook. I learn guitar tabs. And the list goes on...
I avoid being alone or bored whenever possible. That's what I personally do. I try to go out as much as possible - bring my son out to interesting places, go shopping with friends, or just hang out with the hubster at our favorite joints. I feel so much better when I'm being around people and doing stuff.
But let's get real - no matter how busy your schedule can be, there will *always* be moments of being alone, sitting down, with nothing much to do...and then your mind goes back to all those worries and awful thoughts right? You can try reading a good book, or watching a DVD. Do something you really like. You mentioned that you want to be "occupied with positive things in life like helping people", then dedicate some time for that. You may not know where to start but trust me, positive things in life are abundant, and you might want to start with the people around you, like your family members, friends or neighbours.
You might also want to write down all the worries or feelings that you might have, and think of a solution for them (if any). I admit, even for myself, some worries are more real and more concrete than others.
I do have my anxiety moments (oh, lots of them in fact), but by keeping myself busy and occupied whenever I can, at least they're not as bad as when I have nothing to do. I don't know if you're on meds or diagnosed with anxiety, but do know you're not alone, there are others feeling the same way you do.
Hope you're feeling better.
Post Edited (Pinks) : 2/3/2011 4:19:40 AM (GMT-7)