I have had anxiety about
26 years. Many meds, therapy... currently doing online CBT, along w/ seeing a therapyst and doing EMDR.
but, i do have this obsession about things.. .maybe not OCD, but i cant STAND... i mean.. truley... (or eles i wouldnt be writing this asking for help or advise).. i cant stand when people dont like me.. i know not EVERYone is going to like me, but i have a problem with one person in paticular... we have had this love/hate relationship for over 15 years, and we have to remain *nice* becuaes she is the X to my husband, and there are children and grandchildren involved, so im constantly worried that she like me, and accept me, and so im always being really nice to her, and worry bout what i say and do..etc. its bad for my anxiety, becuase as soon as she is mean to me or doesnt respond to an email of mine.. i FREAK out.
we have emailed contantly, everyday, for about 15 years.... im trying to get out of this pattern, because it consumes me, and i believe she does it on purpose.. anyway... for the past 2 days, she has not emailed me ONCE... and there for, i have tryed to not email her... and i suceeded all day yesterday, but today.... i have had such BAD anxiety, thinking she hates me, and im a bad person.... its controlling me all day at work, and putting me in a bad mood, and making me anxious, i already took a 1/2 a xanax cause i started getting nervous and scared, and thinking all those.. "what if's"...... does ANYone have these type of consuming thoughts... and if so... WHAT do you do to ease them, or get past them???
If not, thank you for reading and letting me vent. whew.