I know there are quite a few threads on panic disorders. I feel I've grown tremendously in the last many years, and I think this is because of so much inner work/mental shifts I've made, changing my mind and attitude rather than trying to control external circumstances (which I think possibly lead me to some panic state).
When I got to Cape Town 13 years ago I had a nervous breakdown, and since then the most trying times for me have been these moments that I've always only described as extreme panic and terror, especially if I sleep during the day and wake up - it's almost as if I'm hanging above hell, a completely distorted reality and a feeling of absolute dread that I really cannot describe in words. Yes there are all physical symptoms associated with it - shaking, sweating, this delirious feeling that comes over me, a heaviness at the front of my head, heart palpitations, and what sends me straight into this state is when there's a sharp, not necessarily loud, sound that wakens me with a feeling of fright that sends me straight into this terror.
I spent a huge amount on psychiatrists for a few years, can't remember what was prescribed, but none of that helped. I've been taking the Bach Flower Remedies (homeopathic drops) for many years and this is the only thing that has taken the edge off slightly. But I most often need to take the tinctures directly, rather than diluted.
I do still wake up with these feelings, they're almost immobilizing.
It's very difficult to describe these sensations, not sure if "psychosis" fits as a definition, but I often wonder if there'll ever be anyone who would be able to address this or really understand. I'm sure it is possibly some heightened sense of panic and anxiety. I think it's a feeling of fundamental anxiety that over time, once I feel more contained, could soften and pass, but the question is when, because within this the hopelessness and fear is overwhelming.
Wow, trying to stay balanced here and focused on what's real, not an easy one with these feelings ..
Dean, 38, Cape Town, South Africa
Post Edited (Dean123) : 2/10/2011 7:25:15 AM (GMT-7)