haha actually you guys have a much better idea than I had lol I didn't really think about
posting the story as to why I'm here in the first place, ok here I go...
I got it from my mom, but I've always been kind of an emotional person. I am the youngest of 3 by 8 years or so and my older siblings would beat up on me and as an result I'd get special treatment from my parents. So now I was the spoiled one and I learned to cope with things by running to my parents. I do notice when I have my anxiety episodes now it comforts me when my mom or dad are around, maybe my whole anxiety is just something that's holding me back from completely becoming a man. Because I am in that period of my life. I just graduated college and pretty soon, if God's will permits, I'll be starting my own family and working a real job for a huge chunk of my life and I know a lot of pressure is going to be put on me. With anxiety I do feel like I let people down a lot, sometimes when my girlfriend and I go out we have to leave abruptly because my anxiety causes a headache or chest pain and I immediately think the worse, it goes away as soon as I get relaxed again so I know I have to just face it and deal with it.
How my anxiety started? Well like I said I've always been sort of anxious to some degree, I'd say more than the average person but never really a disorder until now, and one time I indulged in some bodybuilding product called Jack3d (contains caffeine and other strong stimulants) that had my heart racing without me even exerting any physical activity and that's when I had my first panic attack, after that I went well for a while but did another physical scare happened that made me think I had some serious disease but thankfully it wasn't at all and it just went on and on from there once these anxiety feelings became more prevalent and I DID NOT know what they were or how to deal with them. I would lose sleep over these feelings and I was in a constant panic, but once I learned what anxiety is that (THANKFULLY) subdued greatly.
now where I stand? Honestly guys I need ya:( maybe it's just today, but I feel pretty darn hopeless, I feel pessimistic about
my future and I find myself losing faith in living, seems like things can go good for a while but then something shakes me up again and I fall right back down, I question if I'll ever be permanently up again. I don't know, I'll just do the best I can. I guess the reason why I feel like this is because my girlfriend's parents said I look sick and it made me feel like there is something wrong with me