Posted 3/22/2011 9:46 PM (GMT -7)
I hope I'm not posting in the wrong thread, but if I am I apologize and will try and move it to the correct topic, anyways I'm a new guy on this thread, this is my first post. let me give you a little introduction about me.
I am 23 years old, and have been emotionally abused by my dad since I was 0, my mom didnt start abusing me until a couple years ago. My mom used to be really nice to me when I was young, I remember my mom would bring me to my favorite place, (the toy store), when I wanted and I remember her bringing me to my favorite restaurants and treating me and being always nice. My dad's always been the evil one, and hes basically ruined my mother's life, my brothers and my sisters and mine. HE has these episodes where literally it used to be everyone just knew better and went completely silent, or he'd threaten to hit someone. his face would turn red and he'd just be basically ready to fight, or beat the crap out of a 10 year old child. (Me). Does he hit me regularly no, has he ever hit me before yes, i remember when i was very young, he used to hit us in the back seat of the car if we made too much noise when he was getting tired if he was driving.
Sometimes he'd blow up because something happened and sometimes he'd blow up because nothing happened. most of the time it was nothing. I was always a very obediant person in school and at home.
I was never the kid ready to get in a fight. I was a genuine nice caring person. Throughout the years, ranging from when I was really really young, I remember my dad was supposed to teach me how to blow my nose. and I remember being in the bathroom, and just picture a full grown man yelling at a young child. JUST ****ING BREATH OUT. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?
I remember to this day saying to myself, why is he so mean? throughout the years, I remember little things happening like dropping a plate on the floor on accident, and "setting him off". he used to just go ballistic on me. I can't fathom an adult could treat a young child so harshly, but he did, he really did. My mom would always protect me from him, and sometimes take the blame for little things that she knew would set him off.
I have worked for him since I was literally 8 years old. When I was 8 years old both my mom and my dad worked at the restaurant my dad owns, and id have to stay there friday and saturday nights for 5 hours, becuase nobody was home. soon enough when i was 9 or 10 years old he put me to work, real work. and SCREAMED at me for not getting it perfect on the first day. ARE YOU ****ING STUPID? I JUST SHOWED YOU HOW TO DO IT WHY CANT YOU JUST LEARN IT. pay attention this time, im gonna show you one more time before i get really angry.
Soon enough I started to keep to myself, I really didn't like my father constantly bullying me so i started to play video games in my own room. because it was one thing i could find enjoyment from in my life.
To this day my dad will go on rampage after rampage about nothing. he just sits there and waits for something to go wrong so he can Abuse and exploit the crap out of whoever comes in his path.
I sometimes just laugh in his face when he goes on a rampage, because I just cant believe how much of a "roll" hes on, hes gone as far as i know 23 years, and im sure its way more then that. of just abusing the crap out of me and every member of my family. its almost a joke to me, how he can still continue to get away with what hes gotten away with.
I feel like he should be put in a cage and jailed and never let out. I've given him so many chances and everytime he acts like everything is cool and laughs it off, until he knows im weak again and then goes in and sticks the dagger.
like recently he blew up on me and told me if im not gonna work at the restaurant with him hes gonna kick me out of the house. i was really hurt by this. and the next day i couldnt even act cool with them anymore, and i was just like you know what dad maybe your on to something, maybe i will move out, but are you sure you want that? because if i do its gonna be permanent.
I really am just wondering if anybody has any tips or ideas how to cope with this monster.
And as far as my mother goes, shes turned into a version of him. she never used to be that way. but now if i drop a spec of cheese on the table, shes like I JUST ****ING CLEANED THE HOUSE UR NOT GONNA **** EVERYTHING UP.
my sister has turned into a devil too thank god last week she moved out with her boyfrined. phew!
on top of everything they find every possible way to try and tear me down, the best abuse they got for the day they use.
They used to evnd every argument with your crazy, you need to get some help, tommorow were gonna go to the py****rist. they are trying to brainwash me that im crazy. but they're perfectly normal! hahaha.
they stopped using that though, when I was like, you know what guys I am the crazy one, so when I move out, far far away, just remember keep telling yourself im the crazy one so you feel better inside.
And this way when anybody calls you and ask where I am you can tlel them im the bad guy.
I honestly am going to move out of this house, and change my phone number as soon as i am finanically stable.
I've moved out in the past, and it did no help, i gave him so many chances, ive moved back was as nice as possible but it didnt matter. he still wanted to control and be an animal.
I've come to realize my best bet and living a normal life is getting away from the family, because it is DESTRUCTIVE.
Once at work my sister flipped out over basically putting 2 orders on 2 different tickets, because the way the guy said it it sounded like he wanted 1, so i printed it, then he ordered a second one, hence why i made it 2 different orders. my sister literally goes ballistic and is like *** WHY DID U PUT IT ON 2 TICKETS U ****ING IDIOT? and then goes to the back and tells my dad, then comes up front, im literaly calm as anything, then she goes i just wanna hit u right now, and she does, and i just push her away from me so she doesnt hurt me anymore, and i detain her and. later on my dad is like, I cant believe you hit her?
They are honestly trying to set me up and i cant do this anymore. i literally have absolute hatred for my dad. and as soon as i have the money, im walking out that day, and they can do the math, and use their brains on why im never talking to them again.