Hey all, just joined this site - here is my introduction:
I have never been an anxious person, always full of life and very positive, until a year ago... I was hungover and already feeling ill when I tried boarding a train to go and see my mom for the weekend - it happened quite suddenly, my head was spinning, i couldnt breathe and i thought i was going to have an heart attack, I went back to my flat and just cried. The following week I seemed to get dizzy and start panicking everytime I found myself 'stuck' in a place (like a que in a shop, a line of traffic, and work) I started avoiding places and cancelling on my friends just incase I had a panick attack.
After a month of this I went to see my local GP who gave me Buspirone - at first I saw an improvement, but after a few months things started going downhill again, I felt more anxious than ever. I stopped eatting throughout the day just incase the food made me ill when I was in work, I would take immodium like candy, I would lay the curled up in a ball for days crying, and there was days I couldnt even step out side the door. The tablets just seemed to make me worst - I would get so paranoid about taking them I would often make myself sick. I was getting paranoid about other things aswell. I started to see a hynotherapist around the corner from my house and things started to get back to normal again, until I had a panick attack in his office and then couldnt bring myself to go back. It all all seemed to be a vicious circle 2 weeks I would be a nervous wreck - thinking I was going crazy, and then the following 2 weeks I wouldnt be so bad, but just as I was building my convidence up in going out, it would hit me again (I know now this relates PMS)
about 2 month ago, I decided things had gone on to far - I left my job and flat and moved back in with my mom and I am alot better for it. I still get my bad days where I refuse to leave the house, but on my good days I seem to be getting further and more comfortable with going out further and to different places. I started seeing a CBT therapist last week, and in the last month have read so many books on this subject I feel more equipt to deal with everything that is going on. I have managed to change my eatting habits to a more healthier regular diet but still cant bring myself to eat meat just incase it makes me ill. (Same goes for alcohol).
I have been trying to work on more positive thinking - anyone else finding that one really hard? or got any tips?
Well thats me... sorry thats a bit long! Haha - I have the tendency to ramble alot... sorry in advance :)