Good Morning TG,
The traumatic event that lead to my PTSD was the sudden death of a loved one - my 21 year old son died in a car crash in 1990 - he was dead at the scene. His body was on the 10:00 PM news lying in the ditch with a tarp covering him.
PTSD can arise suddenly, gradually, or come and go over time. Sometimes symptoms appear seemingly out of the blue. At other times, they are triggered by something that reminds me of the original traumatic event, such as a noise, an image, certain words, or a smell.
My sx include upsetting memories of the event, feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma, certain songs playing on the radio. I always feel so dang sad that I am never going to be able to move on.
I also feel anger and irritability, depression and hopelessness and yes guilt that I did not tell him often enough how much I loved him.
I am so sorry to hear you have been dx with PTSD. The best I can tell you is that each person goes through this disorder in their own way. I see a therapist and practice very hard to not dwell on the past but it will sneak up on me.