Posted 6/1/2011 2:55 AM (GMT -6)
I've been researching EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing) therapy and am thinking I'm going to do it. Only problem is...
I'm scared to do it.
I had called my "consultant" that Health Partners (my insurance company) assigned to me this week and she suggested it. (I guess Health Partners has a new program to help people meet their "behavioral health goals" and to be your advocate, nice to have)
I've had several psychiatrists and a couple therapists suggest doing it but I've been hesitant. I don't want to RELIVE those frightening moments that caused my panic disorder. The thought of it makes me want to throw up. Literally.
The only positive is that the EMDR can be done rapidly in 1-3 sessions plus pre and post work. I'm just scared I'm going to get more screwed up than I already am.
I am having flashbacks now from the PTSD and I can't stand it. I get confused sometimes too for instance one TV show will roll into another and I'm feeling hyper vigilant again. (On my monthly friend so my anxiety intensifies)
Has anyone done EMDR? I have met some war vets that have done it but some couldn't handle it because of how intense the memories were.
I've researched this therapy for months but the what if's come into play. Typical anxiety.
But if it works... if.... what if I could get on a plane again? Go to Florida for vacations in the winter? Drive myself out of state? I haven't left the state since 2006. It's getting tiresome to be in this state and state of mind.
I don't know. They say it's more helpful than SSRI's which I'm on for PTSD and all my other diagnoses.
I guess I'm sort of venting and asking for... help? Thoughts? Comments?
Diagnosed with: Panic Disorder, anxiety, PTSD, intrusive thoughts
Medications: Celexa 40 MGS daily, Neurontin 600 mgs 3x daily, Klonopin 1-2 mgs daily
I have a wonderful fiance, a 2 year old daughter named Mia, and two giant dogs; Buddy and Casey.
"We have one life to live. Enjoy it to the fullest."