i was so stressed today under alot of pressure with my mom. it was/is a friends bday party today earlier this evening. my mom use to be kind of friends with her, butwas in the past. since i came to live with my mom i've befriended her, and through her she
opened my life up to new positive wonderful loving and compassionate people. everything my mom is not. well since we have become good friends my mom is extremely jealous. so i have to make up stories about
where, what, why and how when i leave the house. i hate to lie, but i can't stand being berated by my mother. calling everyone nast names, calling me a ungrateful *****, just because these people she can not get along with, and i can. well i didnt know she had made an appt. for her dog to get looked at because after the groomer saw him yesterday he said the dog has a lump under his front leg. the appt. was at 4:30 and i already had plans for my friends party, one of which i made the cake. so i said to my mom i can go 2mro because i already had plans. she flipped out so bad. she wants to rule my every move. she sufficates the air out of my lungs. up my butt constantly. BUTTTTTT if she has somewhere to go or do it's all good, but if she's alone and has nothing to do she expects me to be her 24/7 live in companion. i have 2 brothers who can not stand to come over. unfortunately my dad died in 1992 he had liver cancer. he was the glue to our family kind loving compassionate generous. happy just to cook and watch tv read the paper, whatever. sooo coool. miss him so much, but he enabled my mom. she has stopped drinking since 1994. 2 years after my father died so he never had the opportunity to see her sober. I think my mom masked a chemical disorder with alcohol.she still has this inner rage, mean, jeolous, low self esteem unless she lavish's herself with expense clothes or jewlery, make up.etc: actually had a mole biopsy monday, and after the doc did that shot her up with botox. she never asked me togo, because she didn't want me to know about
the botox, but will turn around and tell my brother, or her friends that i'm selfish and didn't even offer to take her. i didn't even know where she was, she'll take off not let me know where she goes, will forget her cell phone. it's a mess. i don't know if i should call her dr. and discuss her personality disorders. is it signs of dementia?? she hates that i am living with her i had to come to her, didn't know i was going to get so sick and would have to give up everything and be stuck. it's a tuff situation. I really don't want to go on more meds , i think she needs something to get that hate and jealous knot out of her stomache. let me live and breathe. i just don't know what to do. well good nite all.