I understand you completely................living with a wife with a 29 year history of Anxiety/Depresion my husband has a extremely difficult time understanding why I put my self in a position that causes me anxiety......some days the whole world causes me to feel anxious.
I really did very well until 2005 when everything crashed down around me. He has tried to understand and support but dealing with this and not understanding it has brought me to the same place you are.
I had an indepth conversation with my Pdoc re lack of support and understanding from my husband and my adult children. She informed me that I could not look to them to be my support person as they cannot do it............her exact words on my discharge instructions that day were, " Your Family Loves You " and "You Will Get Better".
I am so desperately lonely that I just can't bear it at times, and my heart is broken because I feel like my life is passing me by. I am in tears as I write this. I cry alone as my family gets upset when they see tears and want to know what is wrong ?
I believe in the Jimi Hendrix song, "The Burning of the Midnight Lamp," where he says, "Loneliness is such a drag." People need to share their lives with others. People weren't meant to be alone like this.
It seems like friends enter and exit my life like blips on a radar screen, but nothing ever seems to last. I always thought my husband was my best friend and he would be my rock.............when it comes to mental health issues he just gets angry and frustrated and does tell me I need to help myself.
What's more I'm scared of what the future holds. I am scared to death that my dreams are dying. I had dreams that meant so very much to me, but they seem delusional now.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a ghost that some people can't see. I feel like I'm invisible. The truth is I am a person with anxiety and depression and I need friends that can accept me as I am and family that can help me when I am down as well as when I am feeling good.
I am a person with Anxiety and Depression. I need people in my life ......I need my husband.