Sorry for your struggles....It sounds like from your posting that you are suffering with depression. As you say, as you await each day to make a new start and with each new day you don't have the energy to get it going, I'm sure it's taking it's toll.
There is help out there. I know it feels like a struggle to make it happen, but there is a good chance you don't have to suffer like you are. Just don't let it take you down, finding some help can make all the difference and help you with the life you want to live.....good luck my friend.......WM
Stop fighting your symptoms, tensing against how you feel, trying to push your symptoms away. Don't spend everyday going round in circles trying to figure it all out. This just adds more stress and anxiety to how you feel.
It is your desperation to rid yourself of how you feel that keeps your anxiety alive.
The less you fear your symptoms, the less they mean.