I went to my medical doctor earlier today. Got a script
for a new BP med, but pharmacy won't have it until tomorrow. Came home and ate. Watched some TV and then all of the sudden, I began to feel a panic attack coming on! I began taking deep breaths and was able to avoid a full-blown attack. I took some Vistaril and some Taurine. Mom didn't know this had happened and asked me if I was going to the meeting tonight (our religious meeting). I said that I didn't know and then I started to break down and she said that we just won't go. I told her that we would go! I put our stuff into the car and went to check the mailbox. When I got back in, I was really crying and shaking and told her that I'm sorry to be this way and that I wish I could be "normal". She said that no one is "normal" and that she didn't think I was really going to be able to make it to the meeting...so I agreed. We'll be staying in tonight and will listen to the meeting over the speakerphone.
That was the nearest I've been to a panic attack in years and it's really gotten me upset. I always feel like I'm going to go back down into the "hole".
I have NOT been feeling well lately. Frankly, I never feel too great. I always have a certain amount of depression, due to my life situation, but I am also always very tired both physically and mentally. I have sleep apnea and so I never have enough rest. I was unable to do CPAP, although I did try. I am 47 and might have some pre-menopause things going on too. I can't go to an OB/Gyn until my sciatic nerve in my left leg gets better. There's no way I could deal with that kind of examination right now! So anyhow, I expect to feel bad to a degree b/c that's just the way it is in my life.
It's so strange b/c just 2 or 3 months ago, I was doing pretty good. I shocked myself b/c I went out and about
with my sister and niece twice for a few hours and didn't get anxious. That is really something for me! But now, these last few weeks have been a downhill slide. My shrink wanted me to start therapy again (I have an appt. on Friday) and I do not want to. If I felt it would accomplish something worthwhile, I would not mind too much. But I was in therapy for years and all it did was keep me dwelling on things I don't want to dwell on. It's like picking scabs and digging up corpses for me.
The shrink did say I might need to change ADs (I'm on Paxil 80 mg daily) since I've been on it for 6 years and ADs can poop out. Or he said, he could add Abilify to the Paxil. I just don't know what I should do. I want to do what's best, but I don't know what that is.
Has anyone here had Abilify added to their AD and been benefited? I was on Zoloft for 12 years before I had to be changed to Paxil...
any words of wisdom for me anyone?