Hey guys, it's been a rough last couple of days for me. I don't know why my anxiety and depression is acting up so much lately but I am continuing to try and fight it off. It's so annoying and tiresome though and sometimes I just really want to take a few extra xanax and just sleep the day away (I don't though).
Could use some positive stories about when people were in a spot like this? I just feel like I'm not here and just floating through everyday. The days take forever because I'm not DOING anything. I don't think of stuff that I want to do anymore, if I do it's always something a month or so away and when that time gets near, I get extremely anxious. My new thing now is trying to organize a football tailgate with all my friends which hopefully goes well, but I keep wondering how I'll be. It's annoying to think this way instead of just rolling with the punches.
I know everyone here understands the anxiety part of it, but the depression is what is killing me as well. I don't want to do anything besides lay around all day, then I get upset that I can't sleep (no crap, because I didn't do anything all day). I've been thinking a LOT about working out and getting back into a healthy regiment but when it comes down to it I always feel like I'm 'not here' and decide not to begin the workout. When I say 'not here' it's like I feel like I'm not in control, have the lightheaded and foggy feeling. This feeling pretty much constant the past year/2 years. I'm wondering if it will ever get better and I'll ever feel energized and focused like I used to at times.
Anyone have any tips to fight off the bad moments when I beat myself up over feeling this way? I've found that when I have a day off from work that I'm worse then when I'm actually working, probably because I'm not doing anything. It's especially bad when I just lie around in bed in the morning after I wake up, my mind just wanders and thinks of the weirdest things from the past/present/future, it just wanders all over the place. Only problem is I don't have much going on besides schoolwork so I don't have much to really take my attention off of it. I'm single and majority of my friends are working full time while I'm working part time for now and it's just frustrating. Feel like a loser too for still being in a bachelors degree program at 27 and working a part time job. Makes me feel like a failure because by now I should already have my degree, if not my masters, and be well into a career by now. Should probably already be engaged/married by now too. But nah, instead I'm 27, single, employed part-time, only an associates degree, and have anxiety/depression problems.
Sorry guys, just bumming lately. In a rut again and trying to work my way out of it.