Posted 11/11/2012 5:46 PM (GMT -6)
I am new to the forums, though I have been reading posts over the last two weeks, and decided today I would post as well.
I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 16, and re-diagnosed again in my early twenties. I am now 27. I have spent the last 3 years studying towards a Bachelors degree, and just finished last Thursday. My anxiety flared up terribly a few weeks prior to my final exam - it was the worst I have ever experienced it, so bad that I could not even study for my exam. A couple of trips to the doctors left me with a diagnosis of GAD again, as well as sinusitis (which made it incredibly difficult to do the breathing exercises that have helped me get through "attacks" in the past) and the doctor gave me Lorazepam which I have not used - I've not taken medication for my anxiety since I was 16, preferring to deal with it more holistically.
A few days before my exam (Monday), I notice I had developed a "bright" spot in my left eye - it is bright when I blink, but causes a grey blindspot when looking at things - especially the computer, my phone etc. Naturally, I freaked out. I went to bed that night, and decided if it hadn't gone away after a sleep, I would go to the optometrist.
I woke up the next morning, and it was still there, so I headed off to the optometrist to get it checked out. As a glasses wearer (short sighted), I was due for an eye exam anyway. The optometrist checked everything out and declared my eyes healthy - he could not see anything worth worrying about, and my prescription had not changed either. I asked him what he thought the bright spot/blindspot could be, and he seemed to have no idea. I asked whether it could be related to stress (which had brought on my anxiety in the first place) - he said "maybe". I asked whether it could be a long lasting occular migraine - he said "maybe". Then he suggested it might be a floater. Well, it's not a floater. I have floaters, and this is completely different. He said if I was still worried about it, I could come back and see him in 6 months. 6 months! How was I supposed to deal with the fact that I have partial blindness in one eye for 6 months?! I left the clinic feeling relieved that it was nothing serious, but confused and angry that he couldn't actually tell me what it was, or whether it would go away.
It's now a week later, and it is still there. It is making my life horrible. Not a day has gone by in a week where I haven't cried, felt sad, depressed and angry that it is still there. I realize that if it is stress related, it's not going to go away if I am still "stressing" about it, but I am finding it really hard to ignore it. All I want to do is sleep all day, because that is the only time it doesn't bother me :(
I have booked in to see my doctor tomorrow to see what she says - she knows all of my anxiety history, and I am really hoping she might have some idea as to what this is. My birthday is on Friday, and Christmas is coming up and I really don't want to feel like this any longer.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced something like this before? I'm terrified that I'm going to be told it's there forever now, and I just have to learn to deal with it. I don't think I can :(