Hello all, I know this is long but please read!
I am a 20 year old female, 5'5" and 155 lbs. Healthy, albeit a tad lazy, but my blood pressure is great, and I don't have high cholesterol. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and I eat fairly well. I'm not a diabetic, nor do I suffer from any other conditions...
Aside from anxiety and depression. I do tend to worry a lot. I believe I have GAD and health anxiety. I have been to the ER time and time again, thinking something was seriously wrong with me. Everything from brain tumours, strokes, ovarian cysts, ulcers, lung cancer, etc. And I've been completely fine each time.
But now I feel...different. One night in the beginning of October, I was just lying down watching a movie, when all of a sudden I felt nauseous and dizzy. I got up, scared, and went downstairs to my dad who tried to calm me down. I sat at the kitchen table thinking that I was going to pass out, terrified out of my mind that I was dying. I was frustrated because I was convinced I wasn't just having a panic attack and it was something really serious.
The entire night I felt the same -- it was like a "panic attack" that wouldn't end. I had no idea what brought it on, I was completely relaxed before.
And I'm used to panic attacks, but this one didn't feel the same.
Ever since that night, I've been a complete mess. I went into the ER multiple times because I was having trouble breathing and my chest felt heavy. My heart rate also increased significantly. Unfortunately the hospital in my city is TERRIBLE, so I never could get in to see a doctor. I'd be waiting so long in the waiting room, panicking, that I got so exhausted and would just leave.
Until I was able to get in to see my family doctor, I spent the entire time wondering what the hell was up with my heart.
He sent me for an ECG and bloodwork, and half of me hoped they'd find something just so I could try to fix it. But there was nothing. Everything came back completely normal.
I was able to relax for a bit, and I noticed the symptoms starting to go away.
I was fine for the remainder of October, and things started to turn around. My heart rate was still a little fast, but I kept my mind off of it.
A little into this month (November), I started feeling the same things again. Heavy chest, difficulty breathing, fast heartrate, accompanied with numb hands and headaches.
I tried to take comfort in looking up anxiety symptoms online, but everyone was saying these symptoms only last for a little while, and they pass. Mine seem ever-present. I can never take my mind off of it.
You'd think, if something was seriously wrong, that it would have happened already. But I just don't know.
I remained persistent with my doctor and asked for a physical. He said that everything seemed fine, but my heartrate was resting at 132 bpm! That's crazy. He asked if I felt nervous. I said no. Because seriously, I haven't felt that nervous at all lately, but my heart won't slow down!
The lowest I can get it to is about
90bmp which is still high for someone my age.
So he made me an appointment with a cardiologist. But I can't get in to see him until January 7th.
But what if something happens to me in the mean time?? I seriously don't want to die.
My mom is going to take me to a different hospital tomorrow to get me checked out. It's really hard to not focus on my heart when it's beating so fast and hard all the time!
I get tired and out of breath easily. There's always chest discomfort. I feel sick. The only time I feel ok is when I am lying down in bed, which is what I'm doing now.
I don't know, I just need opinions! Is this really just anxiety?? Am I worrying myself so much that I'm creating these phyiscal symptoms? Am I just stressing out my body so much?
I just don't understand how it could be stressed when all I do is lay in bed all day!