I had severe anxiety and was housebound two years at age 19,
worked my way out of it and went to college and became a medical professional.
IN 1989 had huge stresses and was put on Xanax – worst decision of my
Recovered from that after about 28 months but was never quite
the same. Still I traveled and had a pretty full life. Then in 2007 I had a
major health scare and even though it proved to be wrong I have never
This time my anxiety has gone into physical symptoms: total
body pain, severe nausea, insomnia, shaking and probably 50 more. I am totally
disabled now. My wife and I are major outdoor recreation people, I can no longer
ski, bike, kayak or do any physical activities...even sweeping the floor is too
much most days.
After my Xanax and Klonopin hell I worked with patients
getting off anxiety drugs for 12 years – until I burnt out from the
In the past when my anxiety was getting noticeable I would
meditate more, do Qi Gong, stretch, exercise, increase my cognitive work and in
a couple of weeks I was good to go. Not this time 6+ years and nothing works. I
refuse to take another drug and will check out first.
One of my best fiends is an internationally known anxiety
doctor/writer and expert. Because of my occupation I know dozens of PhD
psychologists and and I still am not recovering.
I have had every medical test known to science and on paper I
look like I am 20 years old.
I have been told that the older you get the harder it is to
recover – it is for me. I have had anxiety for over 40 years and until Xanax it
was always a nuisance at best.
I have an absolutely stress free external life: wonderful
wife, no money worries and everything on the outside is perfect. We have eaten
organically for over 30 years and we both look 15 years
So even with my education and all my contacts I feel stuck and
hopeless. Many of my friends have totally recovered but I don’t seem to be able
to find the magic door out !!