Hi ReSpekt and welcome.
I have to echo the advice above. If you are truly having thoughts of self-harm, then we must strongly advise calling for medical help right away.
If however, you are feeling stable, then read on, and hopefully I can give you some comfort and support.
There are so many things going on in your situation at the moment, and I can see how you would be feeling overwhelmd. I will try to address all of the things that you mentioned and see if there are some things that I can help you to feel better about
First of all congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I can tell from your post that you are a loving dad, and that your daughter is the pride and joy of your world right now.:)
The fact that you stayed by your girlfriend's side...and continue to even though things are tough at the moment just strenghtens that fact. Your daughter needs you, and you are going to be there for her...that is a beautiful thing!
You have rights as the father. Your girlfriend's mother cannot legally keep you apart. If you choose to look into this matter with the family court, you can certainly gain visitation that will be ordered...and she will be breaking the law by not allowing you to see your girl.
If you are choosing not to do this for the sake of the relationship with your girlfriend, then I get that...but please know that you do have your rights.
Hopefully, this will all resolve itself. If your g.f.'s mother is smart and reasonble...she will realize that you are a good guy, and one that wants to do right by her grand-daughter! Let's hope that she sees this soon!
The disturbing thoughts that you are having about
your g.f. are probably a by product of stress. They sound somewhat O.C.D in nature, but I am not a mental health professional, so I am not attempting to diagnose you...but have you ever sought help or therapy for your issues? I can highly recommend it...not only for yourself, but for your future and your new family as well.:) Learning to manage your anxiety and depression is the best gift that you could give to all of you!
Keep plugging away at your GED. You will get through it, and it will
open doors for you. Try to get caught up as best as you can, and keep going...you have made a good start and you can do it. Another job oppurtuntiy will come up as well...keep up hope.
Finally, I am so sorry to hear about
the fire and your loss of home and possessions. This is devastating! I can't imagine what you and your sister and mom are going through. Tough times do not last indefinitely though. Hold on to each other and work to get through this difficulty together. Your family needs you, and you will get through this.
You can and will get better with time and treatment. Again, I would urge you to look into therapy with a referral from your doctor. If this is not at all possible, then there are some self-help options that are also good. Post back and let me know if you would like some recommendations.
We are here for you and always available for understanding and support.
Please post and let us know that you are okay soon!
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom
Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 1/25/2013 11:28:22 PM (GMT-7)