Scaredy Cat said...
Hi anon and welcome.
When I am dealing with a problem that is causing me anxiety, it is often helpful for me to ask myself key questions to help unravel the jumble of emotions and feelings that I am facing.
Some questions that you might ask yourself:
*If it is indeed me, how will this affect our relationship...will we be able to remain friends...or is this a deal breaker...will it threaten my partner, ect...
*Am I anxious because this is a hidden relationship, one that my partner does not know about, or one that I have inadvertantly encouraged? (not making judgements here...just throwing out possible ideas)
*Do I feel subconsciously guilty for not being available, or for causing my friend pain?
*Am I subconsciously angry for being put in this awkward situation by my friend?
Again, these are just ideas and questions that I would maybe ask myself if I was in the same situation...they may or may not apply to you...and you can come up with your own questions.
There is a chance that it has nothing to do with you...do you have common friends for example? She may be acting in a coy manner for that reason...she does not want anyone to find out through the grapevine, so to speak.
Anyway, I hope that you can get your feelings sorted out, and do what is best for you, your current realtionship and your friend.
Post with us anytime and let us know how it works out if would like to.
Thank you for replying!
I am mostly anxious because the friendship is hidden. That aspect makes me feel terrible as well. I don't feel guilty or angry, no. And all of her friends are single so, like I said, it basically leaves me and only me.
I'm honestly considering just severing ties. I feel like that would be harsh and wrong, but it would relieve the stress a great deal.