I'm home this easter (I've lived on my own for two years and I just come some days on vacation), and it's the SAME TORTURE WITH MY MOM.! No, it's worse! I've been working while I'm not here to be quiet, to try to analize things and respond quietly, NOT TO YELL! But being at home this is mission impossible.
I've always had problems with anxiety, it got worse when I was in university, I took pills, I went to see some doctors, psychologists, sometimes I think things I can't avoid, so trying to stay quiet is very important for me. If someone is yelling, or making a stor in a glass of water, just like my mom, I get upset, my hands start shaking, my breathing quickens and I feel the need to run, yell to everyone or to punch someone. It's really hard for me. This two years out of my house have been really helpful. I still have problems when I have to respond something when I'm talking to someone face to face without getting anxious but I've been improving. Even when I was on Facebook talking to some friend, and we started a "discussion" or some like we don't share, and the discussion started to be more "agressive", I felt the same things, it was really hard to keep talking because I couldn't control myself or think rationally.
And at home is the same, when I feel someone is not listen and keeps yelling I feel like I'm going to explote, I feel something in my stomach and I just want to go and lock in my room.
And with my mom this get worse... She doesn't like to be happy, she really doesn't. She always finds something and she makes a storm about it. yesterday my two sisters and I went to visit my grandparents, she didn't go because she needed to be "quiet and alone". Well, when we came back, my nephew started coughing a lot! And my mom started nagging about it: oh my God, he's SO sick! You should take him to the doctor! no... You shouldn't have gone yestreday to visit your grandpas and yyou should have taken to the hospital with the money of the gas! My sister was like: mom, I'm taking him today. "NO! This kid is SO sick! Oh My God! Poor boy ! I can't see him anymore! I'm going to die!!", -by the way she has like all my life about to die-.
It's a mental nightmare, it really is. She doesn't like talking, if she doesn't yell, nags, or make a big storm that last for entire months! she's not satisfied. And when you ask for peace, she again is going to die because noone cares how she feels! it's frustrating!!!