I know this is a bit long winded but I just need to talk about
what has been happening to me with people that actually understand. So I am 36 years and when I was in my early 20's I started having panic attacks. I had them for about
6 years and then they just disappeared. Then about
a year and a half ago it started with what felt like skipped heartbeats here and there. I ignored it as I was a bit stressed out and figured it was just a little anxiety. I went my pdoc and she gave my Xanax (the same things I had taken years ago). She also believed it was just anxiety. Then one night I went into full blown panic attacks...heart racing, shortness of breath, trembling, chest pains, the whole nine. It went on for about
2 hours. I as convinced I was going to die and my heat was going to give out but in the back of my head I knew it was a panic attack...I had had enough of them in the past. I took a .25 mg Xanax and it did nothing. I had to take a second one before I felt any affect and started t calm down. I finally just fell asleep. I then became obsessed with my heart and ended up in the er twice. Both times they did ekg's and chest xrays. They all came back fine. So my pdoc put me on Zoloft and I had a bad reaction which she said was just my anxiety. After arguing with her that it was not my normal anxiety (I had a really bad pounding heart, chest pains, and it felt like band around my chest) I stopped taking it and found a different doctor. My new doctor said I did the right thing, that I was having a bad reaction to. She has started me on Lexapro (though I am working my way to taking it). But I will! I also need to add that I have only 1 kidney and have kidney disease in my remaining one. Everything was under control until a year and a half ago when my protein levels skyrocketed to over 3500 mg when a normal person loses 150-200 mg a day. And at the same time my blood pressure spiked as did my blood sugar. Then they found a complex cyst on my ovary and a golf ball sized lump on my breast. It's like this last year and a half my body just started falling apart.
That is when they found that at 36 I was perimenopausal. I have gotten my blood pressure and blood sugar under control through diet and lost 25 pounds. I also cut out aspartame and caffeine and most of my sodium. The cyst on m ovary turned out to be fine and burst on it's own and 2 doctors both think the lump in my breast is a cyst caused by hormones (and it has gotten much smaller). I go for a mammogram in a couple weeks just to be sure. I go next month to see if my protein levels have gone down. And I made an appointment with a cardiologist the same day as my mammogram. But the anxiety is driving me crazy! I do see a cbt and it is helping a bit, but no as much as I would like. I have this intense anxiety everyday! I feel anxious, my left arm, aches, my upper back and next and shoulders hurt, I have daily headaches, shortness of breath, either a racing heart or what feels like skipped heartbeats, I am exhausted, I fall asleep but cannot stay asleep, chest pains, numbness/tingling in my arms and hands, confusion, trouble concentrating. Those are the most prominent symptoms. I just feel lousy. I have tried exercising as that is supposed to help but as soon as my heart starts racing or skipping I get scared and stop. It even happened when I just tried doing yoga. I force myself to take walks, but that is all I can manage.
Is anyone else going through this? If so, any ideas what I can do to help myself?