Thank you! to Skitt, Larry, and Scaredy Cat for commenting on my last post.
What I think is, I'm trying to make sense of some past experiences.
I know some of you have heard me say this before, but I had a problem in eating a certain type of food when I was younger. I posted a bit about this, and I thank you Scaredy Cat for informing me that these types of problems are not unusual.
I still have feelings surrounding this, and am wanting to try to make sense of it, which I think I am.
Done a little research, and found that there are more than a few issues around this, which might be to do with anxiety. Have remembered that I also had trouble swallowing tablets, like travel sickness tablets, the tiniest of one's, I had trouble with liver tablets...erggh though, they were pretty rough, even if at the time it was thought to be good for me.
I used to chew and chew a certain type of food and fear not being able to swallow it quickly, so some meal times became a 'thing' of worrying that I wouldn't be able to swallow the said food, so there was anxiety before hand, in anticipation, and during, the trauma of trying to eat what I thought I might not be able to.
I did eat, don't get me wrong, but I had some difficult times with it. I've also thought about this in a slightly different context. I read something about an experience someone had at the dentist and remembered that I had a similar thought before whilst or before being at the dentist, of worrying that I might not be able to swallow. It sort of all seems to be familiar.
Starting to think that some of this could still be a little unresolved. Like for example, if a boss were to ask of there employee to do something within a certain amount of time, is there is a lot to do, one could be thinking, 'I can't do it within that space of time' then that feeling of not being able to, leading to panic, which generally in the past for me, leads to fear than upset, crying. I think I've used crying as a way out of difficult situations, not that I might not be genuinely upset, but that really what it might be doing is upsetting me more, if I can overcome this barrier, maybe I could help myself and be more on top of things.
Here is a thing, maybe if I try to smile more, when under pressure, it might help, but if someone is annoyed with you, and wants you to do something, that's where it might be difficult, I think I could be braver.
I might delete this later, because it is kind of the way I am, but I really wanted to talk to someone about this, as it is helpful for me. I'm a little insecure maybe.
Also, I do really understand that people have much bigger issues, and many different types of issues are difficult for lots of people. I do not want to burden people, and nor in any case influence how other people think, unless it is influencing people in a positive way. I hope that everyone is ok. Thank you for the opotunity to post.