i get anxiety attacks when i'm alone.

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EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/7/2014 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
hello, I just joined today in hope that I would find some people going through the same thing, or have some a little advice to give. When I am home alone, I constantly have to divert my attention on something the whole time so i dont get a panic attack. I'm not afraid of anything like a break in, it's the simple fact that im alone that causes this to happen. I looked it up online and it sounds like i have a case of "monophobia". I really want to make this disappear because i want to get my own house, and be able to stay alone in it all day while my fiance is at work. I have a toddler. It really interferes with my life, because every single day, I dreading the possibility of being left by myself, and it's also embarrassing. I'm stumped on what to do.

I have improved since 2 years ago, I now am able to stay alone while talking on the phone basically the whole time. 2 years ago, I would have cried and asked my fiance to call in to work. I'm working on it. If anyone has any input on what to do, or have gone through this themselves, please feel free to reply.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 1/7/2014 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ETM and welcome.

We have had a few members that have similar concerns, and my daughter used to be very anxious about ever being alone, so this is not an unusual fear.

The good news is that you have already improved to a great degree, and I am sure that with some work, you will be able to conquer/manage your fears even more.

Can you pinpoint what, specifically makes you nervouse about being alone? Do you have concerns about health, or how you would handle an attack alone?

Do you have anxiety or panic issues otherwise, or just when you are faced with being on your own?

You have found that talking on the phone helps...and that is good! Maybe you could try another form of distraction next...like say keeping the television or music on?

How about when you are interacting with your child? Does that distract you to the point of not noticing it? Maybe having a schedule where you are doing something structured for every part of the day, rather than just facing hours alone could help?

If all else has not proven to be helpful, you could look into some therapy or self-help techniques to work through this. If you are paritcularly struggling with attacks, we have a great video link and coping skills in our Resources that you should check out.

Here is the link:
 
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Keep talking with us as well. We undertand, care and support is key!! We are here to listen anytime.:)

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/7/2014 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
 
Welcome on board  and know you have come to a place that you will find members who understand what your going through. Evidence seems to suggest that the monophobic person's feeling center on  being unsafe.  Monophobia appears  to occur out of severe self-doubt: even resulting in the needed companion being a parent rather than the life partner.
 
Wondering what helped you over the past 2 years to get as far as you have come? Recovery work with a professional feels like the right thing to suggest for you.
 
We are here to support you so be brave and know that things can be better.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.



"She Stood in the Storm & When the Wind Did Not Blow Her Away, She Adjusted Her Sails."

BraveLittleRam
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 1/7/2014 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ETM. I also suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and I have it a lot more when I am home by myself. Usually I keep the TV on and even when I'm doing laundry or cleaning the house I try to pay attention to what is happening on the Tv so I don't fall into negative thoughts that can cause panic attacks. For me, it's more because I'm scared something bad is going to happen when I'm having the panic attack so I feel like if someone is there they would be able to help me, and if I'm home alone.. Something bad might happen and no one would be here. Right now I'm a stay at home wife so it had made things a little more difficult. I also am more prone to talking on the phone when I'm home alone because it gives me that feeling of comfort. Maybe if you could figure out why being home alone scares you so much, and then work backwards from there.

EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/7/2014 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry it took so long to reply, there was someone over that doesn't know about my issues that i didn't want them to see this forum and read my problems. I wasn't sure if there was a multiquote button, so i will reply by putting yalls names first. :)

Scaredy Cat,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I have posted about this on other forums and haven't received a reply.
I am uncertain why I am uncomfortable being alone. I have been through some emotionally hard events within the past few years, that would be super long to explain. Unless you want to know more, I will simplify it by saying that my mom was going through a rough patch in her life and was basically losing her mind and taking it out on me, unknowingly; as in she doesn't remember.
I used to be really depressed, spending all day sleeping, and then staying up all night long while everyone else would sleep. Then one day, I snapped. Rather being depressed, it turned to anxiety attacks (I had my first one at 12 in a movie theater.) I was 17 when i started having severe anxiety attacks. It started after my mom played the victim in my depression by saying that i never wanted to spend time with her. Then I started yelling and my adrenaline was going and my heart wouldn't calm down and i felt my breathing become constricted. It didn't feel like an anxiety attack to me this time, it felt like i was about to die. i could barely move. Then from then on out, i had several panic attacks through out the day. I couldnt even sleep in peace. I would wake up with panic attacks. I had noone there to help me through them, because my mother had her own problems at the time and couldn't help me with mine.so i called hotlines.
I was also, never forced to stay home alone. I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it. I just feel like I can't deal with my own thoughts. I feel as though if someone is at my house (even SLEEPING) that if i had an anxiety attack, they could calm me down and I wont feel like the world is crumbling beneath me.
(me and my mom's relationship is 100 percent better now, it's like it never occurred)
I do have a health problem now, It came to my attention in 2012, I was 21 and they told me I was having issues with my Parathyroid. It controls the calcium in my body and I have too much calcium. So now I have to get a scan done on the 29th to see if there is a benign tumor or what. The symptoms I feel from it are heart palpitations which I only ever had those if I was having a bad anxiety attack. Now i get thuds, or skipped beats on a regular basis.
I have panic issues anyway, just more so if I'm alone to deal with them on my own. I can have an attack in public at times, like if its really hot and theres a long line to wait in. It's a pain.
It distracts me to take care of my child for sure, but i have to focus and just divert my attention to keep calm, usually on the phone. If i dont talk on the phone, sometimes I freeze up during regular life and just want to sit there and not move. It's strange. It's like moving around will make me even more anxious at times, but this too has improved. I apologize for the long reply.
I will check out the resource link. :)

Stkitt,
Thank you for replying :) I appreciate your time. Honestly, what has helped me to improve the past 2 years was the fact I had to think about what was best for my baby and that it's not always ideal to take him somewhere else (like a friends house to prevent from being alone. ) Also, sometimes I didn't have a choice (as in everyone was busy) and I HAD to stay alone. That helped as well, even though at times it was stressful. I'm actually looking into support groups and possibly getting a councelor or therapist.

BraveLittleRam,
Thanks for replying! Glad you can relate. (well of course feeling this way isn't fun at all.)
I always have the tv on and I usually talk on the phone while alone. It's negative thoughts that are triggers, I always have to try to keep positive. I love being around positive people, because negative people cause me to have panic attacks. There was a negative person at my house while ago, which is why i didn't want to reply while they were there. I didn't want them to know about my condition and use it against me or call me a "worry wart" when they clearly don't understand.
feel free to message me or whatever and we can be eachothers support because i know what you are going through, I'm a stay at home wife as well. I'm almost 22.
I always feel more comfortable when someone is here, even if they are sleeping. Just knowing someone is at the house, is enough to keep me from dealing with the anxiety on my own, which is hard.

EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/7/2014 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
what I meant about "it distracts me to take care of my child" is it helps to keep my mind ON taking care of my child. Not that it prevents me to do so. I always take care of my child. Had to clear that up lol.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 1/8/2014 12:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Keep talking with us anytime! This is an active forum, and you will always get an answer and someone to talk to among our members.

You are one of us now if you choose to keep posting, so we look forward to getting to know you better, and walking this journey to wellness alongside you.:)

Things from our past definitely shape our current circumstances, and it sounds like your situation was difficult there for awile! The good news, is that with work, we can overcome these obstacles that keep us from feeling our best.

Definitely look into the Resources, and see what looks helpful to you. There are also great self-help book that can be used to get us to a place of healing and victory over our issues.

Let me know if you would like some particular recommendations.

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/8/2014 12:21 AM (GMT -7)   
recommend away :)
I actually made a typo up there, i was 20 when i figured out I had a parathyroid issue. I'm almost 22 now. :)

I will definitely stick around! I've been searching for an active forum with people that understand what it's like. I will definitely look into the resources, I skimmed a bit while ago, I'll have to thoroughly look into it tomorrow. I'm ready to beat this and move on with my life, I'm trying so hard to be strong. I really need to live on my own with my family.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 1/8/2014 12:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Okay, I will look up some good books I think might be of help and post back to you tomorrow.

I am glad that you are planning on sticking around! :)

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/8/2014 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you. :)

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 1/9/2014 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry, I am a little late with these...
 
I hope that you find something helpful in this group of books/arcitcles.:)
 
 
 
 
 
Keep posting!
 
S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Post Edited (Scaredy Cat) : 1/9/2014 10:06:54 AM (GMT-7)


EspoirTheMage
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 1/11/2014 10:11 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you, i will look into those.

Ulani14
New Member


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/8/2014 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ETM,
I can relate 100%! I have anxiety attacks when I am home alone. Most of the time I go to my cousins house just so I don't have to be in the house alone. I just turned 30 last week and I've been dealing with with my anxiety for 4 years. I feel like it is taking over my life. I have a significant other who doesn't understand what I'm going through and it makes it harder to deal with because he thinks nothing is wrong with me. I feel a little better knowing I'm not suffering alone. I hope that maybe we can be each others support because my friends and family think I'm crazy because they don't understand what anxiety is. At times I cry wishing someone could understand me but no one does. I have a 5 year old daughter who likes going to the park but I don't go as often as I should because I have Nxiety attacks when I go. I hope that maybe one day it will disperse for good!!!!

Channy
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2014
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/9/2014 1:39 AM (GMT -7)   
hi there, i have suffered panic attacks since i was 22 i am now 32 and still cannot be left alone without being fearful of having an attack or the fear something might happen.. i cant go anywhere by myself always have too be with someone.. its hard because it interferes with my relationship and my happiness and obviously my independence so i can sympathise with you i am sorry i cant help i guess i just wanted you too know that you are not alone

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 5/9/2014 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ulani14 and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of your anxiety struggles...but glad that you have found us!

We are a close and supportive community, always here to listen and care for each other.:)

Please get to know the forum...read other's posts, check out our excellent Resources, ect...

When you are ready, please start a new thread of your own by using the Post New Topic icon.

When you post onto an old thread like this one, it is not as easy for others to recognize you as a new member and welcome you...as when you start your own thread of introduction.:)

Hope to hear from you soon.

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 5/9/2014 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Channy,

I responded to your post from last night, so be sure to look for that...hope you are feeling better!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

Dad Needs Help
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2014
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/28/2014 1:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone and Happy Thanksgiving.
My son is 21 years old ans he has been dealing with anxiety for about six years now that I know of. He feels that is is his burden to bear so he talks very little about it. I know that he has anxiety attacks when he is driving alone. He told me the world does not feel real and he has to reassure himself that he is not all alone in it. Sometimes he calls me while driving o roads that are not populated and it helps him get through it. He has managed well or so I thought.

Tonight after a couple of beers, he broke down and told me several things.
1-He feels helpless and feels he will never have a normal life
2-He doesn't understand why he was struck with this burden.
3-He fears that people around him will think he is crazy so he has held it in.
4-Feels he might be going crazy and is really scared.
5-He needs to find a purpose or goal just to get through the day.

I reassured him that I love him and will help him in any way. He told me that he saw a Dr. while away at college and she didn't help so he does not want to see any Dr's any more.
I asked him if the beer had lowered his inhibitions and allowed him to confide in me and he said yes but he feels the real reason was it has been building up and it is a cry for help.
I am going to find a Dr. and make an appointment for both of us but I'm looking for any advice I can get from people that have dealt with similar situations. Please help me understand the pain he is going through.

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 11/28/2014 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi DNH.,

I am so sorry to hear of your son's struggles...but glad that he has reached out to you, and that you are going to get him the help that he needs.

First of all, reading through the above thread if you've not done som already will be a good start. I listed some resources for the OP...including our Resource Guide (purple link) in my firtst response to him. Please have a look through this free and accessible collection of anxiety self help ideas!


Secondly, I would like to recommend finding a therapist who specializes in CBT and treating anxiety and depression. It sounds like your son is dealing with both...and CBT has a great recovery rate for both of these issues.

He will learn to recognize and change negative and fearful thought process, which will help to combat and manage the A/D!

Best wishes for you whole family. I invite and your son to post with us anytime for anxiety support.:)

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

summer733
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 1
   Posted Today 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had panic attacks for 13 years now. I'm on meds, been on meds most of the 13 years. I am afraid to stay home alone, so I'm basically never alone - I refuse to stay home because I'm scared to death to feel the panic attacks again. Its a torture and its ruining my relationship right now. I wanna start staying home step by step again but I'm so afraid, because I don't even remember what it felt like being alone. I can't remember any good emotions with being home alone. So I advise you all who just start to feel this way about being alone - don't avoid staying alone- face your fears, cuz it gets so much worse if you don't. I wish someone had told me that 13 years go. :(

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted Today 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Summer and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. :( I can see how very difficult this is on you.

Have you sought the help of a therapist? What have you tried for treatment thus far? Medication, therapy techniques, self-help?

If you would like any suggestions, or just want support and encouragement...keep posting with us. Feel free to start your own thread of introduction by hitting on the above (left) Post New Topic icon.:)

Post anytime!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

MotherDaughter24
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2015
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/27/2015 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone, My mom suffers from being by herself and panic attacks. Ever since i was about 9 I've noticed she was getting them a lot. We would be in the store and she would have to step out and make me pay for everything, she would keep me out of school, i never got to spend the night at my friends house because it was inconvenient for my dad to pick me up before he went to work, and i never really got to live my very own life. I have a son and a fiance (only because she didn't mind him spending the night) but of course we all live under her roof. Its crowded, depressing and even though im here with her, i sometimes feel lonely myself. I also suffer from panic attacks since i was 13 and now they are coming back with a vengeance..I'm thinking its from all this pressure and lack of my own. Some of this stuff makes me think different of her but shes my mom and i love her, so i stay and comfort her. If me and my little family decide going anywhere she has to tag along or we have to wait till someone comes to the house to stay with her until we get back. This is making my relationship hard and my own sanity i cannot keep. So ever since i was little to now my mom has been by my side. i'm 24 years old now and i can't handle it anymore. I need help and need to know if there is anyway i could get paid being with her because this is killing my social and financial life. Cant be her safety net any longer. The way she guilt's me into staying with her, hurt my feelings even more because she doesn't even appreciate me or acknowledge what shes taken from me. confused mad idea confused mad shakehead Help. lol

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 27268
   Posted 6/27/2015 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi MD and welcome!

I see you started your own thread on this subject, so I will answer you there. :)

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
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