Hello everyone and thank you for taking the time to read. This is my first post and I'm hoping that this group will provide me with what I've been desperately searching for.
Should start from the beginning so you know how I ended up here...
In my high school years I suffered from off and on depression. I began therapy and regained control of my life. During this time I did try Prozac and bus par. Had terrible reactions to both. Eventually I outgrew this phase.
In 2008 I suffered 3 miscarriages. One at 4 1/2 months, I delivered my beautiful little angel at home. Months later at 8 weeks I lost our second and required an emergency d&c for fear that the pregnancy was a tumor and possibly cancerous. My third one came Labor Day weekend. After these losses I began to experience horrific 24 hour a day 7 days a week anxiety. I couldn't leave my home and this lasted for 3 months. I went from 125 lbs to 85lbs. I couldn't be left alone. I was constantly in and out of the ER. Finally one night I started thinking of harming myself. . That scared me! The next day I started Lexapro and it saved my life!! The anxiety disappeared, I go out, I gained weight, I was me again and loving my life!
Fast forward to 2013....January 28th I was diagnosed with stage 2 cervical cancer at 30 years old! April 3rd I had major surgery which was my treatment and cure. Ever since surgery I felt tired constantly, no motivation or energy, nauseous, and always felt anxious (never having full attacks, but always feeling anxious) 8 months after surgery I voiced these problems. Blood work was done to make sure I was okay and when all results came back normal they discussed PTSD with me and how my lexapro just isn't working well for me anymore.
December 12th I began 100mg of Zoloft straight from the 20 mg of lexapro. First week felt very very tired and nauseous. The following week started having depression issues ontop of the previously mentioned effects. Third week brought hell nausea, tired, depression got worse, and now terrible anxiety every once in a while. Week 4 has been the worse! I have to take Ativan everyday all through out the day. Depression got worse. Still very tired. Nausea is not as bad. Started thinking Zoloft wasn't for me. Lexapro made me tired for a week but that was it, started feeling better the following week. Zoloft has been giving me 4 weeks of hell. Not to mention ive lost 10lbs from lack of appetite.
I went to my doctor Friday who suggested titrating off Zoloft. Friday night I took 50mg instead of 100mg and 5mg of valium instead of 1mg of Ativan. The next day was one of the worst days I have EVER had!! Horrific 5 hour panic attack, begged my husband to call 911 countless times because I thought I was dying. Had 3 major depressive spouts. I never want to relive that day again.
Last night I took the full 100mg of zoloft and back to my 1mg of Ativan and today is better. Not totally comfortable and relaxed, but font want to curl up and cry or run to the ER.
Anyone had a hard time with zoloft and finally found relief after being on it for 4+ weeks? Anyone ween themselves off and if so any tips? Clearly what my doctor told me to do wasn't the way for me. I'm really scared and I feel really bad and it makes me upset because it's effecting my children (4yrs and 18months) I just want to be anxiety free and living a happy life. Any advice or shared stories would be a tremendous help! I feel lost and alone.
Edit - due to our rules in the forum I did a couple very short edits but it will not change the content of your post. Thank you for your understanding.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 1/12/2014 3:28:10 PM (GMT-7)