Hello everyone... well tomorrow will be 12 days since no Xanax...I thought today was going to be the day that I break down and take it,, I woke up last night sweating running all around the house..
opened my bedroom window to get some cold air.. and it barely helped. Couldn't really "breathe deeply" or "breathe in all the way" drank some water and it felt like my throat was so small and the water was barely going down. ughh. eventually I fell back asleep and woke up this morning to take my daughter to school and as soon as I stepped out of my bed.. a hot shaky mess. What a horrible way to wake up... morning anxiety has always been hard for me throughout the past year,, that's actually why I started taking the Xanax. Who wants to hop out of bed still tired and take something that is going to make you want to go right back to sleep?? Not me! I want to feel energized and ready to go! But I have no choice when I'm feeling like that. Somehow I got over it and made another day without it. It's either be on meds and be comfortable, or try to stay away from meds and suffer everyday...that's basically what it is for me... well how I think of it. I honestly don't know what's worse. I actually had my first heart palp yesterday in a long time and it scared the crap out of me! I was out to eat with my hubby and my belly was starting to get full and I took a breath in and bloop! there it was.. the infamous heart palpitation. I could kind of tell that I was going to have one because I was already anxious,,, and when I eat and get a full stomach I always get anxious. Then it felt like my food wouldn't go down when I swallowed like it was stuck there... and that's another thing the Xanax has helped me with... relaxing my muscles I guess to where I felt like I could eat right, I guess when muscles are tense it makes it harder to breathe and swallow, so the meds come in and help with that, as well as muscle tension and headaches. I've had horrible headaches ever since I stopped taking it as well. As I'm not taking it.. I'm realizing how much one little pill has done for me on a daily basis to make me live life comfortably.. now it's a complete struggle. Like I said before I don't know what's worse anymore!! I'm going to talk to my ob/gyne next week about
the meds and being pregnant.. I don't want to stress the baby without the meds by being soo anxious and panicking and I don't want to hurt my baby by taking them so I'll look more into it at that time.. this is only the beginning!!!
Hope everyone is having a good(anxiety free!) Friday night!!