Hi there locolindo!
Welcome to the way more of the world feels than you think is possible!! Please do not feel like the Lone Ranger... :)
I guess I am a little taken aback by anyone that doesn't believe in an afterlife... because life is constant.
I think you have to get past religion or a belief in the not-too-appealing biblical god to believe that real GOOD exists... and this is the usual cause of fear of death...fear of that horrid god. But that apparently is not tripping you up. Maybe....???
I think you sound like a WONDERFUL person and I SO ADMIRE all the things you do. I am a year younger than you and you have inspired ME by all your activities.
I just want to say Please do NOT be afraid to die... you see, we all have this 'secret' fear of not really being good enuf and what if 'religion' is right!! ...I was raised via fear and guilt conditioning (religiously) and it took SO many years to let it go. I am a nowmetaphysical person and believe we create our own reality. I don't know if its 'legal' for me to recommend books here, but you sound very intelligent and I would really hope you would read either The Nature of Personal Reaiity ...or...Seth Speaks.... (or both! )