Hi everyone , pray all is well with everyone
I'm just sick and tired of bring sick and tired
It's like what do I do at this point , I just lay down and let it happen .....
I'm tired of hospitals , doc , specialist , etc ...
Since August 2012 I have not been the same person I was , I'm not normal , everyday , everyday , it's something ...
For most of you that know my story , you know I had every test that you can say or can't say , I had so many procedures that I lost count , all for this bullsh**called . Anxiety , somatization disorder , I'm sick of it and want my life back , it's been a limit on my life as dear as what I can do , where I can go , and I hate it , before all this I was a jump up and go person , who drove , loved life , and did lots of traveling , now I can't leave the house some days , my son was dx with leukemia last May 9 th , and now he is up and we'll no more cancer and he's playing sports and he has his life back , all I wanna do is go back to work and enjoy life and take care of my kid , I'm 100% healthy but yet I feel like everyday might be my last .... This is horrible , it has to be a way for this to leave here is my list
My sx consist of ......
Burning chest pains
Shortness of breath
Body feel hot inside
Chest hot inside
And a host of other sx I can't name all
Head exploding , etc
Extra heart beats , PVC
Here are the test and procedure I had
I had 3 EDG ( going down the stomach ) with biopsy taken as well each time found nothing all testing good
I had a MRI , MRA , EEG , and 2 ct scan of my head
I had stress test 2 of them , Echo , holiter monitor 2 of them , 10000 EKG , and a cardiac catherazation of the heart where they go in through your leg up to your heart to check for blockages , etc , my heart doc says it's no other test I can get he has done all the big test and everything is all clear
I been to and ENT twice , did eAr , nose , throat test
A rheumatologist and they say I'm fine
I have been to a hematology and tested for leukemia , lymphoma , and other blood test , all clear , iam iron defiancy anemia so I'm taking iron pills
I been test for Lyme and a host of other things
I been to the ER over 100000x since 2012 of August all different ERs
And I was there once for 5 days on the cardiac floor and they did test and monitor my heArt , I stayed a few other times overnight on the cardiac floor and just a host of other test and doc and madness
Point blank is they find nothing .....
I been to group therapy and one on one , I have tired Zoloft can't go pass a few days I feel very sick , I tired celexa sent me to ER , I tired lexapro sent me to ER , Xanax took one 0.5 sent me to ER had a bad panic attack after it was out my system , I was given Wellbutrin took for 2 weeks did nothing , and I was given a few others I never took , I do take Ativan 0.5 as needed , haven't taken it since Saturday before Easter Sunday when I was admitted in the hospital overnight for chest pains ......
Now this new thing I'm getting is I get very hot inside my body and inside my heAd like a hot rush in my body from my head to my chest , and my face popping and tingling , maybe it's high stress , but it's like I'm out of the stress I was in my son is well , we have our own place , I'm ok , so why , why , why , won't this go the hell away , I have self help books , I'm eating right , no meAt , no sugar , no carbs , I'm wAlking and working out , just trying to stay alive ,
Life really is so unfair , so days are worst then others , my weight going up and down ....
I want peace , peace , I'm praying , mediation , lots and lots of prayer , please God deliver us all from this evil thing , it's not normal ...
I get this weird feeling in my head , uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...
I could go on all night ....
I pray for all us suffering , mAy a God set us free ....
Has anyone gotten over this and really mAde it through , I see no light , but I have to so I can be around for my son ...
Praying for everyone I'm just so sick of this ....
This is truly the devil
he comes to destroy ..
Goodnight everyone ......
So they say I have a severe anxiety disorder , I'm not claiming nothing , God is a healer ...
Faith , relax , mediation , lots of prayer
No meds ... Haven't found one that's comfortable