Posted 5/19/2014 5:09 PM (GMT -6)
This is kind of related to my last post of things not adding up.
It was old a long time ago - me not having my s--t together.
At one time , I could get a job, not be into it, and actually make a good living. Actually , although times were better economically then, I now know I was as lucky then as I am unlucky now - although in spite of myself, through repetition - I became pretty adept at speaking in a sales sense ( when I was younger I was too uptight).
Here is the deal. We are in trouble money wise, and there is nothing like
having your back against the wall, and even more so being sick and tired of doing something to make you have to face your own truth.
Any of you ever had to do work that at some point you just couldn't do anymore ?
I know you do what you must , so you and your loved can eat, but at the same time , I'm not b.s.ing myself anymore,
At the start of this year I put a ad in the local paper advertising my services in terms of business development.
Of course, the responses I got were from the worst kinds of sales jobs.
Here is a description of a job response I received:
The job entailed doing 600 cold calls a week, by knocking on peoples homes, no, you have no appointment. Oh this was selling cleaning chemicals, and it paid a whopping $600 for the week, which is 6 days
and over 50 hours. The ability to make commission can add you more,
but not much, perhaps 50-100 a week.
I do not begrudge people doing what they must, for this is honorable ,
and I did something similar - more than 25 years ago!
Speaking from experience , the reason they contacted me is because no one wants to do this stuff, and running around bothering strangers out of nowhere, when maybe they are about to eat dinner, are busy, whatever, will burn you out very quickly, and is as attractive to me as
watching paint dry!
My point is at my best , I can be a pretty good speaker, but I'm saying to myself hey " this is my life'.
You see before, I did not do any of the above, worked on my own terms,
and made much, much more. But it was more of the case of it coming easy to me and me going along for the ride.
What has this to do with anxiety - everything!
Not paying my mortgage, behind on bills, losing money left and right
has me stressed out like I have never been.
And one issue that has always plagued me is that I procrastinate.
I have never looked to the future, but now I do, and it was ok when I
had enough to cover me and my family, but now it's a big issue.
I just applied to something over the internet, and did so because it follows my experience - but I am not into it.
I read that it is not unusual that a person can find themselves in a job they don't like, simply because they just followed the next job in the career they wind up in ( i.e. sales manager after sales), not because it's
what they want.
Another related but random thought: being anxious ( I hate saying I have anxiety, silly , I know, but I feel it gives power to it), makes everything more of a effort than it should be, that it can make me avoid something or give less of 100% needed to accomplish what is needed.
Can you guys relate - ever find yourselves not letting loose because of your fears - I know I have.
In today's competitive workplace , trying to get your piece of the pie , so to speak -get that sale, land that job. you have to want it bad, and not hold back.
Relating to my last post, part of the reason I wound up doing some
delivery job - a complete 360 degree turn from when I was making
a pretty good living is because of me holding back to some degree.
Yes, the economy does stink, but the reality is that although I do not think anyone could have made my last business venture successful,
in evaluating it I remember thinking that something is off, I'm wasting my time and I need to tell the powers that be that this is not going anywhere, Im wasting my time.
In business you can not hold back, and I just kept on doing something that didn't work, and it got me nowhere.
The short version is that having anxiety can make you afraid to go for it,
not take chances, not trust your gut, and compromise your real potential.
I am looking for how I wound up where I am.
I may be honest here, but I have been running away from life a long time, and to a large part that why I am kidding myself with jobs I know I could never do. By the way, when the guy was describing the job to me, I said that it sounds ridiculous and how I made a lot more for something more professional - I heard silence from him , and he was so desperate he still wanted to see me.