Same here, and yes, I'm 51, and I grew up the same way (except I was never close to my "mother")...but I never understood childish things, even when I was a child....I never had dolls or toys. I was reading before other kids my age, and reading books (not Dr. Seuss).
I've always preferred the company of adults, and I am so far from "delicate and feminine" I don't do well with most women because as you said, the talk is usually about gossip, boyfriends, catty talk, makeup, fashion, shoes,....
Yeah, uhm, no. I just don't get it. And remember, I've been this way my whole life, that not fitting in with people my own age.
But,...remember, you are not the only person with these feelings. And perhaps getting out and involved in GROUPS that are not age-specific but that are about things you enjoy can help you to reach people on the same level as you with the same interests?
You are far from alone, but that said, I do understand the solitary aspect as I spend a great deal of time alone and I prefer it that way. I do not like nor do I need to surround myself with people. If I do, it's in short bursts. Worth a try!
Moderator Anxiety/Panic Forum
"My time for tears will be at my Victory...not at the start of the War." ~~Vickie