Girl! Our stories sound so similar. My year since February has been and up & down rollercoaster and I want OFF of it. Trying to figure it out & "let it be" is nearly impossible. Banging my head against a wall seems far more productive
(no worries, not going to do that. Don't need more health anxiety
My old therapist suggested I act like a sailboat. When the wind is pulling the sails in the wrong direction, I want to pull back with all my might to steer it where I think it should be. Instead, the only way a sailboat corrects itself is by letting go of the rope and letting it get back naturally on course with the wind.
It's so true but so hard not to have the impulse to pull back the reigns with all your might!
I'm not having physical issues, although like you've thought in a different way, I wish they'd find something to explain my months of ups & downs like a vitamin defiency, thyroid imbalance, something fixable! But noooooo, all my tests come back in normal ranges. I did have low vitamin D but I've been taking high doses since April or May and I'm still on the roller coaster!!
The worst part is feeling like you've lost your darn mind. I've never ever struggled like this and I'm 43. Yes, I've had anxiety and depression off and on briefly since my 20's but it was always "cured" w/one medication then I went off of the med. I had 12 yrs of no meds. Even when I took one, I wasn't on longer than 6 months. My crap started in February when I went off of a med bc I thought it was pooping out after 6 yrs (in 2008 i went on AD's a 3rd time in my life and just decided to stay on it, figured I was a "lifer" & I was ok with that).
The med switch was no good and I was worse than when I was on what I thought was a oooped out med. Been trying to get it right again since! Aggravating and I struggle with patience anyway!
My husband has been very supportive too. As much as he can w/o ever having had issues w/depression or anxiety. He literally doesn't worry about
anything except when he's going to eat, getting sleep, what he's going to watch on TV and sex. LOL!! God I wish my life was that simple!!!
If you ever want to email me for support off of here, feel free! I email with a couple of members & it's really nice.
Take care and sending love!
Anxiety & Depression
"We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world."