First of all I want to say that it was SO SO GOOD to see the names of the moderators and some of the members I recognized. It was walking into a room of old friends and I just about
I haven't been on this forum for awhile...was better for awhile (severe morning anxiety) ... but now its like something is 'coming back'...but it feels different.
I can't say that these feelings (which starts when I wake up) are ones of anxiousness, or worrisome like. They are just WEIRD...almost like I am someone else...kind of quiet, morbid feeling... No, not depression...(depression is almost comforting comparatively)... I do feel a certain tension though... but not wildly nervous.
This usually gets better starting noon time, and generally after 6 PM I feel much better...I stay up late because I like the way I feel when I feel good!
I have all these good plans about
what I am going to do in the morning... like take the bus to these different coffee shops...but come morning, I don't want to go ANYwhere...except maybe across the street to where there is a Starbucks...
I feel useless and like I am wasting my life (even though I am 'legally' retired
and it's "OK" to not do much. Do you think I need to FORCE myself to do things? I feel guilty a lot because I should be doing more (including better housework!)
I hope this post makes sense... I am just so glad that so many people on this forum DO understand our weird mental comings and goings.
I'd appreciate hearing from any of you. Thank you, all of you.