I am so sorry you're struggling! It's very upsetting, I know all too well how taking steps back when we thought we were "over it", feels scary and rotten. A big hug to you!
I have to agree with what Cornell had said- as I read through your post, it's very clear you were triggered by the current traumatic situation, hence your current struggles with the anxiety, obsessive thoughts about
the palpitations, dying etc.
Triggers can happen anytime & often when we least expect it. It's always a work in progress. You will most definitely get through this rough patch but it's going to require a little homework by you, getting out those coping skills & using them- meditating, deep breathing, praying, treating yourself kindly, being aware of what "stinking thinking" is playing in your mind, etc.
I'm 43 so I understand the confusion of if we're having peri menopause whacky hormones, the heart palps etc. I've been having them for about
2+ weeks right now. I've gotten them off & on my whole life. Unlike you and the others though, I've not been checked out for them. I see my doc regularly. I've just never thought to bring them up bc I've always assumed they were from hormones. Sooooo many people get them but when we have the extra bonus of health anxiety, we are the ones that tend to obsess over them and so begins the snowball affect of looking for them, feeling them, maybe even creating more of them with the worry, etc.
A kind member of our forum told us a while back something awesome a priest friend told him years ago about
the fear of dying- without exactly quoting it was something like "you only die once. Dress rehearsing it daily is a waste of time bc dying once is enough." That wasn't the exact quote but it really struck a chord with those of us bc it's true. We only die once so why waste precious time worrying about
it. Once IS enough!
I'm sending you healing thoughts. I know you're struggling and I sure have empathy. Please keep talking here as we all understand and will help you during your current rough patch.
Anxiety & Depression
"We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world."
Post Edited (lesweet1971) : 10/18/2014 6:05:35 AM (GMT-6)