Like some people on this forum.. I feel like I have tried everything and still cannot overcome this panic disorder.
I had suffered for 7 years of anxiety/agoraphobia/panic disorder. At some point, after 3 or 4 years during that time frame, I was able to get out more and more. Finally got to to a point I was able to travel within a 10-15 mile radius. Progress! Long story short, after the 7th year I broke up with my girlfriend at that time and met someone new. After a couple of weeks, the "puppy love" stage helped me get over my agoraphobia. I was able to go to gyms, arena's, etc. I was finally free! We shortly ended that relationship after about
a month but I continued life anxiety free. After two years of being panic free I suffered a setback. I experienced a panic attack at the gym working out, that lasted 15 minutes. I had to take a xanax to calm me down. Went home, and told myself I wouldn't let myself get back to how I was.
Sure enough...I continued to experience PAs. I couldn't exercise in fear that might heart rate would go to high and trigger a PA. I started walking...and then even that I couldn't do. Agoraphobia creeped it's head in and now I'm stuck at home once again. It all happened so fast. Why? Why now? Life was so good. It seems unfair.
I have tried in the past hundreds of different herbs, acupuncturists, tea's, etc. maybe some of them helped get me out of the house. I have a phobia taking medicine, don't even take advil unless I have to
I managed to get myself to my doctor with the help of a friend driving and some xanax. I was prescribed Lexapro, 10mg once a day. I knew I couldn't research this drug otherwise I wouldn't take it in fear of the side effects and so I have not researched in depth about
this drug nor do I want to.
I decided that I couldn't let myself get into the hole I used to be in. I believe Lexapro will help, at least I want to believe. I have close friends that have taken it with success. I took my first pill yesterday and felt strange..dizzy...and at 4AM woke up with a surge of panic. Felt ice cold at first, then hot, then normal. Had to take half a xanax to calm myself down again and fell back asleep. Took the next Lexapro this morning around 10AM and around 6PM I felt the same symptoms again. Felt my stomach tightening up, maybe burning sensation? Shivers. Cold flash, shaking, nervous heart racing. I tried breathing techniques and it seemed to pass. I had taken another xanax at this point as well.
So of course.. I looked up Serotonin Syndrome... and I immediately thought I had it. Closed my laptop and said to myself over and over in that it's just anxiety to try and convince myself otherwise.
I also have flu like symptoms, overall groggy, and have been laying in bed the last two days. Meanwhile, my entire family is telling me to snap out of it and take a walk outside or go eat out with them. Is it really that simple? Do you think it's just in our heads? I snapped out of it for two years, panic free. How did this happen? Was it because I fell for a girl fast and the dopamine increase masked my imbalance of serotonin? Or did it just mask my internal issue, that we just think negative. That it is really just a matter of us thinking positive to change our thought process and therefore our anxiety?
So I guess I'm here asking for support. Letting me know that this is normal at first. That soon I will be taking trips to hawaii, taking boat rides and watching my favorite football team. That the Lexapro symptoms will ease up after a few weeks, I will take the pill for a short time and then magically wean myself off it with no withdrawal symptoms and have a wonderful life!
Thanks in advanced!