Welcome to Healing Well family <3
I am sorry to hear you are having such hard time. We totally understand you. Panic attacks, in addition to anxiety issues are never easy to deal with but don't lose your hope. There are coping techniques you can learn. First of all and most important one is learning to regulate your breathing during panic moments.
In the main page of anxiety/panic disorder forums, there is this first thread called "Anxiety-Panic Resources". There are many good links there. I recommend you to check them! To make things easier for you I can post some of these breathing links so you can use them right away! www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/73076/34334/breathing-lessons/www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_Iwww.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html
I am on medication for a long time now (on and off) and I must say I struggled for not starting it when the dr told me to. Even though I am on Antidepressant treatment (and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy now), I must say I am still staying away from sedatives. This is something you need to discuss with your dr throughout though, I recommend antidepressants since they have great benefits on treating especially Panic Disorder. The decision is up to you! :) There are also therapy options, if you didn't try it yet, I highly recommend CBT.
Please keep us updated and feel free to post whenever you want. We are here for you and will definitely do our best to support :)
Age is just numbers *cough*39*cough*
Panic disorder - Health anxiety
Learning to deal with catastrophizing, ongoing CBT